


A Continuation

by FoxMaiden



Series: Angelic Huntress [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bondage, Dom/sub, F/M, Kinky sex, M/M, Pet Names, Same tags as before
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-02 20:31:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5262467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxMaiden/pseuds/FoxMaiden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you liked the first one, and wanted to see the story progress than here it is... Not much more I can say really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Help

She was running… well then again she always seemed to be running maybe Lucifer should stop putting her in charge of demon, angel relations it never seemed to work out. It had been several years since her encounter with the demonic bear who killed her, and she had discovered the truth about her actual connection to Azazel… sort a unsettling if you really thought about it. A demon possessed a man to have sex with a woman so a child would be born, and that very same child would be the one to kill him… unsettling and very ironic kinda like Steff herself. However that really wasn’t the important thing right now rather it was the mob of angry principalities and demons chasing her.  
“Hey look, you guys are working together right now!” Steff shouts back at them optimistically as she dashes around a corner attempting to shake them though it does nothing and they continue to be right on her heels. Sprinting through the unfamiliar landscape at break neck speeds shouldn’t feel so familiar, but lately her attempts at peace talks hadn’t worked. So as both an angel and huntress she knew that running was always a good idea… worst comes to worst her mate would save her right? Yes the almighty Lucifer, king of the damned, ruler of the unjust, and the man she loved most... also he was pretty great in bed too. Rounding another corner hastily she doesn’t notice when she smacks directly into Balthazar and Castiel talking quietly about something; she couldn’t quite hear them but right now that really wasn’t important.  
“Darling what’s going on?” Her other lover, well less of a lover and more of a friendly acquaintance whom she just happened to have the occasional sex with asks. Let’s just say Lucifer wasn’t very happy with his position as consort, but he tolerated it… most days.  
“Nothing Balthy just some peace talks, you know how that goes.” Steff scoffs as she positions Castiel and Balthazar in a way which their wings effectively hides her from view. Did she mention she was an angel? Usually running wasn’t her style but lately things had come to this; she didn’t want to hurt the creatures, but she just couldn’t get them to get along. So now she hid as a small fluffy black cat behind Cas’ leg. Sighing Balthazar picks her up and holds her in his strong grip.  
“Darling, you really are terrible at that aren’t you?” Balthazar jokes while stroking her gently causing her to unwittingly purr and arch her back in pleasure at the sensation. “Well someone’s affectionate today, tell me does Lucifer do that thing that you like.”  
“Go to hell Balthazar.” Steff moans in pleasure as her tail curls in on itself, Castiel just rolls his eyes knowing that this was neither the time nor the place for this. Moments later footsteps are heard running past the office she was hiding in with the other angels, most likely wasting time so they wouldn’t have to answer more prayers.  
“Steff they’re gone.” Castiel informs her and she nods slightly still very entranced by the way Balthazar was moving his fingers along her back. “Knock it off before Lucifer catches you.”  
“Oh let him, I’m sure Steff would save me.”  
“If you keep doing that then sure… I’ll save you from big bad...”  
“Now Steffanie what have I told you about calling names… You know I might just have to punish you later.” Lucifer murmurs quietly as he appears next to them. His four black wings puffing out in a show of dominance.  
“Alright Fluffy put the wings away, Darling I’m afraid I have to give you back… unless you want to stay.” Balthazar teases as he puts her in Lucifer’s waiting arms. “Well it was worth a try.”  
“Sweetheart what have I told you about public displays of affection.”  
“I don’t fucking know, but I should probably go check on Dean.” Steff mutters as she jumps from his arms with a scowl on her cat face. In a huff she stalks off around the corner with her tail standing tall in a show of pride. Lucifer watches with a smirk, and turns to face Balthazar.  
“Touch her again and I will…”  
“Lucifer you know that he is her consort, so it is impossible for him to not touch her.” Castiel states in an informatory tone, and Lucifer rolls his eyes.  
“How come Michael isn’t like this with her.”  
“Um… because I like her as friend, and I consider her my intellectual companion as well as tactically superior… Not many can beat Father more than once and live to tell the tale.” Michael answers as he appears with his four white wings with streaks of violet shining beautifully in the sun slipping in through a nearby window.  
“Good, but how do we make him into that?”  
“Lucifer if you want I’m sure I could tweak his mind and…”  
“No!” Castiel shouts appalled that his brother were even considering it. “Seriously guys that’s wrong!”  
“Oh dear Cassy it was merely a suggestion.” Lucifer teases as he walks behind Cas and begins to rub his wings in a relaxing way. “Take the stick out of your ass.”  
“I do not have a stick in my ass, and if there was I would know.”  
“Cas it’s an expression… where is Dean right now?”  
“He’s on a werewolf hunt with Steff right now.”  
“But how she literally left like four minutes ago, and isn’t she supposed to be negotiating.”  
“Lucifer she is awful at those talks… I have yet to see one of her treaties get signed by either party attending the conference.” Michael points out and Lucifer just groans in frustration. “She’s a fighter not a negotiator... even I know that.”  
“You know he makes an excellent point.” Balthazar contributes only to receive a scowl from Lucifer and Michael. “Oh I wasn’t supposed to talk was I.”  
“No because you can bet as soon as I figure out how to get rid of you I will.”  
“Well until then I’m going to go savor my time with my Darling.”  
“Touch her and you die!” Lucifer shouts after him as he shakes his head and disappears along with Castiel. About three minutes later Michael nudges him with his wing playfully. “Hmm.”  
“Do you really feel so threatened by him that you wish to separate them?” Michael inquires knowing that Steff couldn’t nor would she love someone more than she did Lucifer.  
“Not really I just like fucking with him.”  
“And this is why you are seen as a bad person.”  
“I’m not bad maybe a little narcissistic but not bad.”  
“Come on let’s go see what their up to, knowing Steff and Dean it’s probably something stupid.”  
“For being such a smart people they sure get themselves into some stupid situations.” Lucifer comments as they both fly off to meet up with the others. 

A Forest near Siberia

“Dean this seems like a very bad idea.” Steff whispers as Dean finishes drawing symbols in the snow. “I could just smite the thing and be done with it.”  
“Now Steff where’s the fun in that?”  
“Um… it’s still fun for me.”  
“Yes, but this way we can both have fun while saving the nearby village.”  
“Dean killing a werewolf is one thing, but torturing one sadistically is a whole other thing altogether.” Steff says hesitantly, she wished Sam were here to talk some sense into him. She didn’t know why but lately Dean had gotten darker it was right after he and Sam had taken a hunt near the border of Kentucky and Indiana. Apparently it hadn’t gone well inf fact so bad that Gabriel had stopped what he was doing to come save Sam. Sam had said something about Dean being different, but he seemed rather normal up until late. However before Steff could ask more questions she was called in to negotiate and Sam went with Gabriel on some sort of retreat… which was really code for I’m going to fuck your brother so hard that he won’t be able to walk for a few weeks. Castiel hadn’t had time to come visit lately so the mystery of Dean remained unsolved. “Dean are you listening to me?”  
“Dean.. Oh yeah… of course I’m listening to you.” Dean mutters as he finishes his drawing and that’s when it dawns on Steff… this wasn’t Dean. “Steff be a dear and…. Steff what are you doing?”  
“Dean never calls me a dear, and in fact no one I know calls me dear… So either you're an angel I have yet to meet or you're a creature hell bent on killing me. Tell me which is it?” Steff says creating a ring of fire around them so it couldn’t escape, and she draws her ebony blade blessed by Michael when she was just twelve able to kill anything and it warmed when demons were near. She conjectures the creature isn’t demonic as the blade remains frigid in her hand.  
“Wait what do you mean… Stop don’t, it’s me Dean!” The creature croaks out as it voice begins to crack and it’s shape shrivels away into that of a small boy. “Please don’t hurt me miss, I’m just a child.”  
“And I’m just the Keshet… so where do you want to go from here, I could kill you, you could take me to Dean and then I can decide whether or not to let you live.” Steff says as she grabs the front of the creatures shirt lifting him into the air. The Keshet was her professional title... sort of like a savior of sorts, the most powerful angel next to God himself, and a lady capable of saving even the most damned soul… she had mated with Lucifer for christ’s sake and that speaks volumes especially since she wasn’t corrupted in the first place.  
“Wait you're the Keshet? I was really expecting something a little more grand.” It hisses with disappointment and Steff a prideful creature sighs while releasing the camouflage on her wings. She usually kept them pitch black with streaks of violet, but they were naturally white with the tips of her feathers a different color of the rainbow. So with a few shakes her four wings shift into their true state sending of an aura of power causing the creature to shake where he laid.  
“I’m not even done yet.” Steff taunts as she shifts them back into their normal state then outlines them in violet fire, and the circle itself changes to match the frigid temperature of the world around them.  
“Oh fuck…” It trails off in fear and without even asking it points her north. “He’s that way, look for the tree which twists but remains rigid even under the most pressing of circumstances.”  
“What the fuck does that mean?” She shouts at it, but he merely disappears with a Cheshire cat smile as the wind blows north. “I hate riddles why can’t they just tell me where he is.” Steff groans as she flaps her wings taking off into the forest at a frightening pace. This was one of the reasons she loved flying it was fast and she loved the way the wind whipped through her hair and her feathers. There was no real science to it either, you either did it or you didn’t kinda like a sink or swim moment. So moving at around 200 mph she comes to a large cave system marked with similar symbols as the other guy had been drawing in the snow. While staring into the pitch black cave she can feel Dean’s consciousness, as well as several more inside near him. Right before she can go in Balthazar appears behind her and his hands dive into her wings quickly hitting many pleasure spots that cause stars to form in her eyes.  
“Hello Darling.” The British angel drawls out as he feels a similar amount of pleasure as well as anger through the imprint. “Care for a romp in the snow?”  
“Bad… Oh very bad…. timing.” She stutters out as she uses her powers to separate them leaving her on her knees gasping in the snow.  
“Darling?” Balthazar asks with a smile as he pushes himself up out of the snow with a dazed expression. He loved sparring with Steff it left his heart racing and his wings shivering… also a few bones broken sometimes.  
“Balthy are you particularly busy right now or are you looking for work?” Steff inquires while shaking the snow out of her dark wings and sauntering over to Balthazar. She could probably handle this on her own, but back up never hurt. And to get his help she would probably need to use her influence on him, hopefully Lucifer didn’t show up, he hated Balthazar.  
“Well I’m never too busy for you, tell me what can I for you?”  
“I was wondering…. if maybe… well could you be so kind as to accompany me into that cave.” Steff whispers in his ear while seductively rubbing the feathers near the base of his two gray wings. See Steff, Lucifer, Michael, and God just to name a few are Archangels while the others are guardians giving them only two wings instead of four; far less powerful than archangels but still deadly in their own right.  
“What’s in the cave?”  
“Less about a what and more of a who.”  
“Well then who is in the cave?”  
“Dean… I… well… yeah I got nothing.” Steff says trying to formulate an excuse, but coming up with nothing she just puts her mouth to the feathers knowing that if he was trying to refuse he certainly couldn’t now.  
“Of course… please I would love to help you, oh I’ll help you all the time.” Balthazar moans as he leans back and Steff moves around to face him with a smile dropping to her knees gracefully she nuzzles the growing bulge in his pants. Mouthing at the bulge playfully she trails her fingers up and down teasing the Brit into a very aroused state. Undoing his pants slowly she pulls his throbbing erection out into the frigid night air Balthazar gasps at the sudden temperature change. Using her powers she heats her hands and grips him gently pumping him in a teasing manner. Leaning closer she begins to lick the head with small kitten-like licks still taking it painstakingly slow. She can feel Lucifer coming, but she can’t find it in her mind to care; Balthazar is her consort and this is what consorts are for. Steff opens her mouth wide and takes him to the hilt in one try then she rests there for a few moments letting her throat adjust to his size. She notices her consort’s eyes flutter open and shut as her throat muscles flutter as well. Pulling back slowly then going down again quickly she works her tongue all around him savoring the small gasps and moans he releases.  
“What are you doing Steff?” Lucifer asks as he appears behind her, she just ignores his intrusion and keeps working her consort till he’s a gasping mess with his hips bucking into her mouth.  
“Please Steff just a little faster.” Balthazar begs as she nods and he speeds up bucking into her mouth at a furious pace. Lucifer sighing in mild anger just sinks to his knees and places his fingers in her feathers causing her to moan and the vibrations finally send Balthazar over the edge as he cums deep into her throat. Swallowing eagerly she pulls off him with a pop, smiling, standing up, and then zips him back inside his pants.  
“You really are pushing your luck today aren’t you.”  
“Lucifer I need his help so it’s only fair and besides I love the sounds he makes.” Steff teases as she kisses Lucifer roughly and he can taste Balthazar on her. Pushing his way into her mouth trying to erase the taste of Balthazar and replace it with his own. Smiling into it she allows him to exert his dominance and when he finishes she nuzzles his neck affectionately.  
“Next time merely ask me.”  
“Nah I enjoy this too much.”  
“You are the most frustrating mate I have ever had… but alas I too enjoy this.” Lucifer resigns as he kisses her softly and Balthazar stares at them with a sated smile. “Knock that off before I knock it off for you.”  
“So touchy today Lucifer.”  
“Come on you two let’s go find Dean before Cas realizes he’s gone.” Steff mutters as she grabs Lucifer’s hand and drags him to the cave with Balthazar not far behind. 

Twenty minutes Later

After walking deep into the cave they come to find a fire glowing brightly and Dean tied up to the top of the ceiling dangling slightly and unconscious. Steff is about to charge in but her consort pulls her wing gesturing to the symbols surrounding Dean. They were Enochian and very dangerous for angels.  
‘Dean can you hear me?’ Steff asks as she touches his mind with hers and he blinks in response. ‘How many, and what are they?’  
‘No clue, but there is about seven… Steff what took you so long?’  
‘Sorry busy week, but I’m coming to get you… just hold on.’  
‘Not like I could do much else anyways.’ Dean mutters bitterly in his mind as she begins to stalk slowly towards him while her companions keep a look out. Steff makes it about halfway before Lucifer freezes one of her feathers in warning, whipping her head around quickly she notices one asleep about six feet from her current position. Drawing her blade she creeps up on it slowly, and stabs it in the heart, and the creature draws it’s last gasp of air. She watches as the body melts into a puddle, and without realizing it she gets it on her hand. The substance burns like acid causing her to open her mouth in a silent scream as the acid melts away her skin completely and all the flesh surrounding area as well as the bone leaving a hole clean through her right palm. Her powers work to heal it, but for some reason it refuses to close up so inching forward in an attempt to ignore the pain she makes her way to Dean scratching the symbols on her way. Cutting Dean down with her knife and catching him easily she makes her way back to the others who waits eagerly for them. Once out of the cave she collapses onto a nearby tree as she grits her teeth in pain with tears streaking down her face silently.  
“Sweetheart are you going to be alright?”  
“Yes Luci it’s merely a scratch.” Steff lies knowing that this wound would take several weeks to heal and it would be a very painful process the entire time. She tries to flex her hand, but the residual pain causes her to bit her lip to hold in the scream. “Dean… Dean how are you?”  
“I’m tired, but minimal damage considering... Steff your hand.” Dean says in horror as he finally gets a good look at the severity of the wound. A clean hole about three inches in diameter was burned through her hand, thanks to her powers there was no blood but he could only imagine the pain she was in.  
“It’s nothing… let’s get you back to Bobby’s.” Steff mutters with a smile attempting to soothe the others but her mate and consort knew she was in a massive amount of pain and Dean could see it in her eyes as well.

Bobby’s House

“So what you're going to do... “ They hear Bobby saying as they all appear in his living room. Steff by now is leaning heavily against Lucifer while keeping her face in his chest to keep from screaming in pain. It hurt so much, but she was determined to fight against it dammit she was a Winchester no measly pain was going to get to her… even if it was a hole through her hand.  
“Winchesters to what do I owe the honor?” Bobby asks as he hangs up the receiver. “Let me guess he got kidnapped, and she got hurt.”  
“Shut... fuck it all…” Steff grimaces as she raises her hand to show the older hunter who balks at the sight of the hole.  
“Holy shit…. Steff are you..”  
“No you damn fool! Do I look alright?” Steff snaps at him, while shifting into her cat form and limps out of the house. “Fucking idiots the lot of them!” She shouts back at the house while disappearing into the junkyard. “Crowley!” The wounded cat yowls wondering if the demon had anything to ease her pain other than their sad looks.  
“Love, what can I do for you?” Crowley asks as he appears next to the cat with a smile.  
“Pain… so much pain… Ideas?” Steff groans out as she presents her paw to him and he rubs his chin in thinking before he pulls out a small bottle of pills.  
“Morphine of the angelic kind, and don’t ask where I got this from either.” Crowley answers as she opens her mouth and he shoves three large blue pills down her throat. Swallowing with a cough she nods her head in thanks while laying down at his feet, the medicine must already be working because like normal morphine she was already dizzy.  
“Aww thanks man you're the best like seriously… you're awesome.” Steff says woozily while rubbing her cat body up against his legs.  
“Alright Love I think it’s time we get you home eh?” Crowley tells the woozy cat while she just smiles at him, with a sigh he picks her up figuring that carrying her would most likely be quicker than letting her walk on her own.  
“Hey let me go!”  
“Steff can you even walk in a straight line?”  
“Yes… well maybe…Did I tell you that you're the best?”  
“Love come here so I can take you back to one of your lovers.”  
“No, Lucifer doesn’t like my consort and my consort doesn’t like Lucifer, and to be honest it’s all rather tiring… Hey do you want to be my lover?”  
“As tempting as that is I will have to decline, and besides we make better friends I believe.”  
“Right you are Mr. Crowley, tell me have you ever ridden a pale horse?”  
“Actually yes his name was Maximus a rather prideful being, but you already know this.”  
“Maybe I do maybe I don’t…. Stupid car move!” Steff commands hissing at the tower of stacked cars sending them flying in every direction. Crowley’s eyes widen in complete horror as he watches several fly directly towards Lucifer as he walks out of the house. “Luci!” Steff shouts in terror as she shifts back and throws herself in front of the car, part of her knew that this was going to hurt but hell she felt pretty invincible right now. It hits her body with a deafening thunk and Lucifer gasps in horror as he watches his mate’s injured body crumple to the ground.  
“Steffanie!” Lucifer cries out as he grabs her quickly.  
“Lucifer… mm fine just a scratch…” Steff lies as her eyes finally roll back into her head as the drugs and new wounds finally overtaking both her mind as well as her body.  
“No it is much more Sweetheart, but as always you will heal.” Lucifer mutters with a sigh as he watches Crowley slink out from around a corner.  
“I believe she will need many more of these when she awakes.” Crowley mumbles apologetically as he hands Lucifer the bottle and the Archangel sighs.  
“Thank you… where did you even get these?”  
“Let’s just say Squirrel’s lover is very easy to coerce when he’s drunk.” He says with a smile and then snaps his fingers disappearing into the early morning light. “I’d give her about 12 hours before she wakes with a nasty headache.”  
“Thanks… Balthazar!” Lucifer shouts to the heavens knowing the Brit had disappeared after healing Dean’s minimal injuries.  
“Hello dearest brother, what ever can I do for you?”  
“Don’t mock me right now, can you take her to your heaven till I can watch her?” Lucifer asks while tapping his foot impatiently, and he nods then takes her from his arms. “Give her these if she awakes before I get there and do not for any circumstances allow her to fly… I mean it she’ll get herself killed or someone else, and then it will be another trip to Purgatory.”  
“Aye captain.” Balthazar mock salutes with a wing and then disappears with Steff in his arms to his heaven.  
“I fucking hate you!” Lucifer shouts after him and with a sigh he flies down to Hell to take care of a dispute between his demons.

Balthazar’s Heaven

Upon arriving on the sandy beach Balthazar lies her down gently and pulls her body close to his while putting his wings over hers protectively. 

Steff’s Dream

‘God this sucks.’ Steff mutters as she stands on shaky legs in a pitch black cave.  
‘Keshet you have arrived finally.’ A voice whispers in the ever prevalent darkness leaving her with an uneasy feeling in her wings. ‘Do not be afraid youngling, come closer.’  
‘I’d rather not if it’s okay, you're sorta freaking me out right now.’ Steff whispers back as she backs away from the darkness, but it is persistent and she watches as an inky blackness covers the mouth of the cave.  
‘You will listen whether you want to or not.’ It commands and Steff had always been terrified of the dark ever since she had learned the truth about things that tended to lurk in it.  
‘I will not be controlled by you!’ Steff shouts as she throws up a protective wall of bright white flames with multicolored flames flickering within… this was a true display of her powers fore she was not every color itself rather what all of them were born from. She would not be frightened into doing anything by anyone. ‘If it is a fight you want, come then I shall fight with no remorse.’  
‘Not a fight… we want not a fight… Help is what we desire.’ It whispers hurriedly in an apologetic tone and that is when several creatures begin to form in vaguely humanoid shapes with faces made of purely blackness, only eyes shining in a plethora of colors ranging from gold to crimson. They form all around her circle and a few try to penetrate it only to reel back in pain releasing awful screeches that leave her ears ringing.  
‘Help?’  
‘Freedom… Keshet we desire freedom from our bonds.. no longer do we wish to serve the wills of others…. Help us to be free.’ The voice whispers pleadingly losing whatever edge it had, and Steff lowers her wall slowly to allow the creature who seemed to be speaking to enter.  
‘I do not help creatures undeserving of it or creatures who wish to use that freedom for nefarious reasons…. Show me what you are?’ Steff explains to the being made of darkness as she offers her right hand the one affected by the acid from earlier. Taking the hand it weaves itself into a makeshift cover making her hand look to be wrapped in black bandages.  
‘Help that is what we are created to do, but... ‘  
‘But what?’  
“Abused… powers used to fuel wars, and breathe life into things meant to be dead…. Creatures only wish to help.’ The thing says as it gestures to the darkness where memories are displayed of men and women binding them to do their bidding. In the beginning it was only for helping but then it became more… When their master’s bodies decayed these creatures were the glue that held their limbs together and fought against nature’s will. She can feel the pain that these beings feel at such blatant disregard for nature’s rules, it was as though they were dogs beaten into submission.  
‘What are you?’ Steff asks as she watches the being retract it’s hand with what she imagines a smirk. However much to her surprise the blackness stays covering her wound completely and upon further inspection it has two azure blinking eyes which seem to ooze happiness.  
‘Not so much as what but rather who… we are hard to explain in human terms or even angelic ones… demons do not understand us either, but for simplicity you may call us Iad siúd nach bhfuil Bow chun báis. Those who do not bow to death, we are found in the moors of Ireland… creatures who guide lost ones back to the path home, and save those worth saving from the dangers of the moor.’ It explains and shows her a scene of a small black wolf guiding a young girl back to her nearby farm, and helping a wounded man get to the nearest doctor. ‘Help is what we do….and help is all we can do.’  
‘I will do my best to free you, but I need a location or somewhere to start… show me what I need to know to save you.’ Steff tells the being who nods politely and suddenly her hand burns with a fire so hot she fears it is melting what remains of her poor hand.  
‘Fírinne is now bonded to you and he will help you as long as he is able, but he is young compared to the rest of us… he can not keep his other forms for long, but the one on your hand he can hold indefinitely.’  
‘Firinne… but what do I call you, and what if I can’t help you?’ Steff says committing the name to memory.  
‘Caleb is what you would call me, and Firinne will tell you what you need to know… you must help us otherwise it will surely be the demise of all that you love.’ Caleb says with a lot of urgency and it causes Steff to nod in understanding. ‘Firinne, when she is able guide her to our place of greatest sorrow, the place it all began.’  
‘Caleb, I will save you… And thank you for Firinne.’ Steff says with gratitude as she flexes her hand grateful to have mobility again.  
‘Keshet we will only be able to communicate telepathically as I am too young to develop the capability to form a body even in dreams.’ Firinne’s childish voice calls out in her mind, and Steff nods in understanding. ‘I shall be waiting till you awake to further this conversation… rest for now Keshet.’  
15 Hours Later

Steff awakes to Lucifer gently carrying her into their bedroom, and him laying her down on the soft satiny sheets.  
“Lucifer...Firinne…” Steff mumbles into his chest as he smiles kindly at her while picking up a nearby pill bottle.  
“Shh… Sweetheart swallow these for me… there’s a good girl.” Lucifer praises gently as he pushes the pills into her mouth, and Steff swallowed reflexively.  
“No… listen.”  
“Sweetheart lay back down you are very injured and you need to sleep… come on… just like that lay back and let the medicine ease the pain.”  
“Firinne.” Steff mumbles expecting something to happen, but the only thing she notices is a slight tingling in her right hand with a smile she closes her eyes knowing that it was real.  
“Shh… Sleep Sweetheart.” Lucifer urges as he pulls the covers up over there bodies, and reluctantly Steff is pulled under by the pills into a dark and unyielding slumber. 

12 hours Later

Steff awakes to the feeling of throbbing in her hand and sleepily she shakes it a few times trying to get feeling back into it while leaving the bed quietly as to not wake Lucifer. However she hears a sharp screech in her ears and immediately she drops to her knees cupping her ears in pain.  
“Son of a bitch!” Steff hisses in pain while leaning back onto the bed causing her damaged wings to be bashed into it unwittingly. Gasping in a new found pain she lurches forward away from the only to land in a heap on the ground with her wings sprawled out around her.  
“Sweetheart, what are you doing?” Lucifer asks with a sleep sated smile as he rolls over to the edge of the bed to find Steff holding her ears while curled into a ball in pain. “Steff are you alright?”  
“Of course I am… just tripped over my shoes.” Steff lies as she is slowly lifted into the air by Lucifer’s powers and laid gently back on the bed next to him.  
“You need to be more careful.”  
“Yeah and Dean needs to eat less fatty foods, but we both know that isn’t going to happen.”  
“Fair enough, come on fold your wings up and we can cuddle for awhile.”  
‘Keshet… can you hear me? Oh no what if I’m doing this wrong, and she can’t hear me.’ Steff hears a voice whisper in her mind fearfully, and it sounds so familiar but she can’t place where it’s from… with a sigh she turns to face Lucifer who captures her lips gracefully pulling her in for a kiss. ‘Eww.’  
“Did you say something Lucifer?” Steff murmurs into the kiss and the angel shakes his head in no.  
‘Keshet please stop kissing that man it’s starting to creep me out.’ The voice chimes in again and that is when Steff sits straight up, unfurling her wings defensively.  
“There it was again!” Steff says in frustration as she leaves the bed and a confused Lucifer staring after her as she walks out of the room.  
“Sweetheart?”  
“I know that voice but who?” Steff conjecture out loud as she walks down the stairs and then out the back door to find Sky Ranger and his family grazing freely. With the sun shining brilliantly Steff raises her right hand to shield her eyes from the bright light, and that is when she sees a strange black material covering the hole that should be there. Thinking that Lucifer must have wrapped it, she goes to unwrap it but when her other hand touches it. Two bright azure eyes spring open with a delighted expression. “The fuck!” Steff shouts in fear as she balks at her own hand while scrambling backwards she trips over a rock landing on the ground with a loud oomph and the eyes seem to lose their delight.  
“Steff what’s wrong?” Lucifer asks in confusion as he races out the door after her blade in hand prepared to kill something.  
“Nnothing… Firinne?” She whispers as her dreams come crashing back into her mind making her remember what was happening.  
‘Keshet finally! I thought you couldn’t hear me or that I was doing it wrong.’ She hears the boy ramble in her mind as she still shifts through last night’s conversations with a dazed look.  
“Oh fuck… I… aw fucking hell.” Steff grimaces as her pain silences the voice in her head and a warming tingle soothes the aching in her palm.  
‘Sorry when I talk sometimes my powers slip… Keshet..’  
“Steff call me Steff.” She tells the voice strictly and it smiles inwardly at the change of name.  
‘Of course Steff… Lucifer is coming, he radiates concern for you.’ Firinne says helpfully as his eyes sink back into the black surrounding her palm.  
“Sweetheart are you alright? Who are you talking to? Let’s get you back to bed, being smashed by two cars takes a toll on any angel’s body.” Lucifer suggests as he guides her back into the house and up the stairs with a worried smile. He urges her into the bed gently, and pulls the covers up while he grabs the pill bottle and takes out two. “Here’s a few more for the pain.”  
“No… I mean I don’t think I need them anymore.”  
“Steff take them.”  
“Lucifer I’m fine I don’t need them.” Steff argues, but he stands firm on this so she takes them and pops them in her mouth.  
“Swallow.”  
“Really? You're my mate not my mother.”  
“Actually with you I have to be both.” Lucifer says with an even tone as he waits for her to swallow them. Steff stares him down, but he stands there unwavering so she moves her throat in a swallowing motion however she keeps the pills resting in the back of her mouth. With a smile Lucifer kisses her and she feels his tongue enter her mouth and before she can stop him he pushes the pills down her throat forcing her to swallow.  
“Dick!” Steff growls as she pulls back coughing.  
“You love me and you know it.” Lucifer states with a smile as he lays back down and pulls her down too. “Now come on it’s…”  
“No… I’m not tired.” Steff says with a fire that Lucifer doubts will last long when the drugs kick in.  
“Fine, but you're not leaving this house.”  
“Watch me.” Steff taunts and with a single flap of her wings she disappears from sight. However that may have been the worst idea she has ever had of recent as she crash lands on a highway, and before she can move a car runs her over.

Dean and Sam

“So Sam what do you…. Oh shit!” Dean curses as he slams the brakes on the Impala but he doesn’t succeed in stopping as he runs over the creature who seemed to just drop out of the sky. Skidding to a stop on the desolate highway Dean rushes out of the car with Sam not far behind. Rushing to the wounded heap of black feathers, red hair, and a long black shirt they recognize the form as their injured sister.  
“Steff?” Sam asks incredulously wondering what could have possibly caused her to drop so suddenly as Dean scoops her up quickly.  
“Sammy… Dean… I love you guys so much… seriously you're the best brothers ever… even though you just ran me over.” Steff says in exaggeration as she leans into Dean with a slap happy smile. Trying to remember what exactly she was doing, but she keeps drawing a blank… and that helpful voice from earlier isn’t there, but her hand is still wrapped in black so she knows he’s there.  
“Steff are you alright?” Dean inquires as he sits her on the back seat of the Impala only to have her fall back with feathers going everywhere. “Hey Angel, snap out of it!”  
“So bossy…. always so bossy, maybe that’s why I love having dominant men in my life…” Steff conjectures and her brothers raise their eyebrows in confusion.  
“Steff have you been doing drugs?” Sam asks as he notices her pupils blown wide and her general attitude.  
“Well not willingly… Lucifer made me… he always makes me do stuff I don’t want to. Steff go negotiate this, Steff kiss me, Steff do laundry, Steff clean your wings, Steff don’t suck Balthazar off, Steff do this, Steff don’t do that… such a naggy man.” Steff complains as she wraps her wings around herself with a sleepy nod. ”No wonder he wanted to… nevermind I’m not supposed to talk about that… it’s a secret.”  
“Steff what’s a secret?” Sam asks in general curiosity knowing that this may be the only time they will ever be able to get information so freely from her.  
“He was going to possess you and Michael was going to possess Dean… supposed to be like an epic showdown, but then Azazel possessed father who in turn had sex with my mother and BOOM! Nine months later me.” Steff explains with animatedly hand gestures while springing up and her brother’s mouths drop open at the sudden information.  
“Really…” Dean trails off not sure where to go with that as he watches her shift into a cat and jump on the front seat very carefully and then settle in between them.  
“Yeah… my real father is technically an evil angel, and that’s probably one of the reasons I fell in love with Lucifer so easily compared to most…. I’m a monster.” Steff whispers in mild horror as she finally collapsed into sleep. Leaving Sam and Dean in shock they had known about the first part, but the Azazel thing was definitely new.  
“Sam?”  
“I have nothing.” Sam admits as he gently picks up their sleeping sister and laid her in his lap who began purring contently when Sam started to pet her.  
“I’m just going to drive till this make sense… it might be awhile.”  
“Yeah no doubt.”


	2. Drugged up, but still fighting

Steff’s Dream 

She was back in the very same eerie cave which was still pitch black. Standing shakily she lurches forward only to be caught by a black force.  
“Keshet you must be more careful.” It scolds lightly as it sets her down on the ground gently careful of her wings. “I will heal the minor damages, but your wings will take much more strength than I can lend you right now.”  
“Caleb it’s okay… fuck.” She cries out as the blackness wraps itself around her wings tightly causing her to scream.   
“I am very sorry… I only wish to help.” Caleb says in a frightened tone as he slinks away from her after healing what he could. “Has Firinne made the connection yet?”  
“...” Steff can do nothing but nod her head as she whimpers in pain at the rough treatment.  
“This is very good, have you made the one with him or are you still forced to verbal communication?”   
“Verbal.” Steff grunts out as she calms her mind attempting to block out the pain encompassing it.  
“I see, well that is an easy fix… Firinne?”  
“Yes Caleb.”  
“Firinne project your mind into hers and show her the way you are connected.” Caleb says and Firinne blinks in response and Steff feels a consciousness melding with her own. Upon a successful entry Firinne sends waves of excitement as he lights up her pale skin. The veins going all through her body are suddenly aglow in black little trails marking her skin. She watches in amusement as a small gold light seems to be traveling through the trails, and it soon comes to rest on her right hand. “There you will no longer need to communicate verbally…. and he can now show you what we see.”   
“What you see?” Steff asks in questions as Firinne’s eyes pop up and she can see an old castle much older than any standing today… In it there is a large congregation of men and women gathered around a large table. One man held a wooden staff made of white birch, and several women holding wands made of a dark crystal like stone. All under a blue banner with a black griffin in front of a crescent moon.   
“This is the beginning.” Caleb says cryptically as the next scene is at what appears to be Stonehenge. The man was glowing in white and she watched as the darkness seemed to slink around his feet like a dog lying at his master’s feet. “He had such pure intentions, but soon as most humans do he became corrupt… and he sought to dominate my entire kind, we banded together to fight the spells… but as any bound creature knows it is useless.” Caleb explains as the man now had a long gray beard and was shouting commands into the darkness. It was as though the beings were being pulled into his body, and slowly the man’s gray beard turned to a rich brown and life seemed to flow back into his decrepit body.   
“Is he the reason you are not able to heal me fully?” Steff asks as she watches Caleb offer his hand and Steff places her wounded one in his. Caleb strokes Firinne delicately as a father would ruffle his son’s hair and that is when Steff makes the connection. “This is why you were so desperate a few nights ago… Firinne is your son.”   
“Yes Keshet, and no parent wishes to see their son forced into slavery… we had heard tales of your heroism in the Other and I… Meliana… she gave her life to save him… His mother wanted nothing more than to set us free so in her last act she helped me to locate your consciousness … not very hard as yours was shouting for help, and so I gave it… that is why I came to you in your dream instead of person.” Caleb explains with forlorn as he stares into Steff’s eyes with sadness.  
“I am truly sorry my help cost you so much… is there any way to bring her back?”  
“No, once we are gone we are gone… there is no Purgatory, no Heaven, and no Hell we are simply un made.”   
“Steff do not worry when you save us all I’m sure my mother will be happy that she put the first foot forward.” Firinne interjects breaking up the sadness and Steff smiles down to him.   
“Tell me how old are you?”   
“I am… Papa how old am I?”  
“In human years you are around 2,500 quite young for us.” Caleb answers with a chuckle and watches Steff’s eyes widen in surprise.  
“Then that makes you?”  
“I am as old as the Earth you stand on and the air you breathe or the sun you soak in… we live for many years, and we will continue to exist long after humanity.”   
“Damn… That makes you and Lucifer like the same age.”  
“No Steff, his kind were created several millenniums after I was born… I am as old as Death himself.”   
“Really?”  
“Yes Momma used to tell me stories of her and Papa watching Humanity make foolish mistakes and helping them to survive.” Firinne says while he unwinds himself from her hand and slithers up her arm as a small black garter snake. “Papa look!”  
“Very good, but you must remember to maintain connection with the person you wish to help because as soon as you leave her she will be in an immense amount of pain.” Caleb warns and the snake immediately rewraps himself around her hand and his head sits on the top of her right hand.   
“Will you be able to do that outside of this dream?” Steff asks and Caleb nods his head.   
“As long as he isn’t trying to do anything else…” Caleb starts, but he is cut off mid sentence. “Steff I have to go, but I shall be here if you ever need me.”  
“Wait in my dreams?”  
“Yes all you need is fall unconscious and I will come to you.” Caleb shouts as he disappears back into the darkness leaving Steff alone with Firinne.   
“Lucifer is coming and he is very angry… Your brothers called him, shall we run?”   
“Might be for the best if we evade him for a little while… Can I fly yet you think?” Steff asks the snake as he blinks. “Oh right you have no idea how my body works do you?”  
“No clue, but whatever you're doing do it fast he is gaining distance fast.”  
“Very well…”  
5 hours later

Steff awoke slowly and very cautiously feeling Lucifer flying quickly, and Castiel coming as well. She noticed Dean and Sam talking idly about what she had said to them she also notices Dean is holding her in his lap while driving petting her softly.  
‘Firinne what’s his ETA?’ Steff whispers in her mind, and Firinne is quiet for a few seconds before wiggling his tiny body five times. She had five minutes to get as far as she could, but with the drugs in her system she knew it wouldn’t be far enough. “Fuck it.” Steff growls as she leaps off of Dean’s lap and out the open window launching herself high into the air. Shifting mid jump into her angel form and snapping her wings out swiftly she grimaces at the pain, but fights through it till she puts a hundred miles between her and them. Landing… well it was more of crashing into a nearby field and forcing herself up.  
‘Steff are you…’  
“Fine Firinne, just need to work on my landings.” Steff assures the snake who wraps itself around her hand tighter in a sign of sympathy. “You guys really caught me on an off week.”   
‘Sorry, and Steff the one you call Michael is near.’  
“Son of a bitch! Angels every fucking where.” Steff hisses as she limps further making it to the nearby forest, and thinking quickly she climbs into a tree while muting her bonds so they can’t find her directly. “Firinne do not move from my hand unless I tell you to and if so I will tell you where… Understand?”  
‘Yes, but what do you intend to do?’  
“Don’t worry about it, just don’t move.” Steff says with a weak smirk as she watches Michael enter the forest and with a less than audible sigh she drops down on him hitting him in the back of the head where he drops like a sack of potatoes. She moves the body to the side and quickly dashes back up another tree listening for the sound of others. Steff can hear three more sets of wings beating in unison and two pairs of heavy footsteps smashing the underbrush.   
“Sam do you think she’s in here?” Dean asks as he and Sam enter the dark forest, before he can say something more a ring of white flames circle them completely.   
“Yeah she’s definitely here… Steff come on out we aren’t going to hurt you.” Sam assures her knowing that she must be in a lot of pain from what Lucifer had told them, plus getting run over by a car never helped any situation. “Steff?”  
“Sam, Dean I’m really sorry about this.” Steff apologizes as she appears behind both of the men using her powers to put them to sleep instantly. “I’m really sorry, please don’t hate me.”   
“Alright Steff this game is over… what did you do?” Lucifer asks in surprise as he lands gracefully behind her. Placing Sam and Dean safely out of the way next to Michael she creates a wall of fire around her to stop the encroaching angels. “Sweetheart?”  
“I have to go Lucifer…”  
“Now just wait a minute go where? I’ll go with you.” Lucifer says hurriedly as he goes to touch her wings, but her fire burns his hand causing him to recoil in pain.  
“They came to me in a dream… I have to help them.” Steff whispers as she backs away from Castiel, Balthazar, and Lucifer. “Don’t... “ She starts, but before she can the medicine begins to kick in and she knew if she was going it needed to be now.   
“Darling who came to you in a dream?” Balthazar asks this time as they form a semicircle around her and she notices Castiel out of the corner of her eye with an empty syringe.   
“Firinne move!” Steff shouts as she thrusts her right hand up into the air releasing the black snake while grabbing her knife and brandishing it offensively at the angels. Grimacing at the pain she catches the snake in her hand again and it rebinds itself around her knife and hand. Surging forth the others attempt to grab her, but she dodges all of their attempts landing superficial cuts on their body.   
“Grab her!” Lucifer shouts and in a flurry of feathers. Steff manages to escape their clutches leaving them lying on the ground panting heavily from exertion. She takes this opportunity to run back out of the patch of trees, and jump into the air beating her wings heavily trying to get lift.... but the muscles refuse to listen and she falls back down roughly, landing with a grunt. So she runs as fast as she can manage which is as effective as flying is for her.  
“Firinne, tell your father that I’ll get to Ireland… I’ll save him, but I can’t…” Steff whispers as she falls to her knees and her blade falls from her hand. The exertion too much on her body, and her eyes slip into an unyielding darkness claiming her mind again.   
“Dammit Steff get your … Steff!” Cas calls out as he watches her fall to the ground in a heap. Picking her up gently as to avoid her wings knowing that they were most likely damaged and that was the reason she was still in the vicinity.  
“Cas you got her?” Lucifer asks as he lifts Michael up, and Balthazar was helping Dean and Sam back into consciousness. Groggily the her brothers stand up and blink themselves into awareness.  
“That little bitch.. I’m going to skin her.” Dean growls as he makes his way towards Cas, but Lucifer and Balthazar flare their wings up in outrage. “My sister, I can kill her if I want to.”  
“Dean now would not be a good time to test my patience.” Lucifer says through gritted teeth as he narrows his eyes dangerously. “Dealing with your drugged up sister has not been a walk in the park for me either… it’s like giving a toddler a hammer in a shop made entirely of glass and asking them not to break anything.”  
“That’s an accurate example.” Balthazar confirms while gesturing to her in Cas’ arms. “So what do you want to do with her for now?”  
“I can’t watch her at the house, things in Hell need my attention… Balthazar?” Lucifer asks as he turns to the angel who shakes his head.  
“She will only escape the next time she awakes, and the same would be for Cas too… She’d just punch him or kiss me till I pass out.”   
“Dude I don’t need that image.” Dean says with disgust and Balthazar just smirks.  
“Right before we went to save you she dropped to her knees and…”  
“Enough!” Lucifer growls and Steff flinches in Cas’ arms still asleep though.   
“She can still feel your emotions through the bond brother even if you can’t feel hers.” Michael says quietly as he stands up shaking his wings out and rubbing the back of his head where Steff hit him. “No more fighting for her, she’s much too lethal… somebody take her to a sewing class or something.”   
“I think she might kill someone with the needles.” Cas says and they all shrug in agreement. It didn’t matter what she did she would probably find a way to kill somebody doing it. “So who is taking her for now?”  
“We will.” Sam offers as he takes her from Cas as they all walk back to the Impala where Dean sighs heavily. “Somebody give us something to keep her under and a way to detain her.”  
“Here it will be easier for you to inject her instead of giving her these to swallow, and here is a symbol that can be drawn in the surrounding area to keep her there. But make sure she can’t find it otherwise she can scratch the line and then she is free.” Lucifer warns as he hands the boys a syringe and a bottle of bright blue liquid also a piece of paper with said symbol.   
“This’ll be just like when she was a teenager.” Dean says with mock enthusiasm as Sam lays her down in the back seat where she curls into a ball and whimpers quietly in pain. Sam sits down next to her and cradles her head in his lap while carding his fingers through her hair soothingly.  
“Just remember what I told you Dean, and be very aware of the time. When that wears off she will be very, very, very, angry, and most likely combatant to anyone near.” Lucifer warns as he gives her one last look of concern before disappearing to attend to his kingdom.  
“I suggest you go back to Bobby’s till she is fully healed. It will be much easier when you don’t have to keep redrawing the symbol.” Cas suggests as he slides into the passenger seat and Dean nods his head while starting up the car.   
“If you need any help distracting her just call me… I am told I’m very good at keeping her attention.” Balthazar teases as Michael rolls his eyes grabbing his shoulder and disappearing.  
“I’m starting to understand why Lucifer hates him.” Dean mutters while pulling back onto the dusty road, and heading in the direction of Bobby’s. 

Six hours later

Steff awoke to the smell of Sam… Not really unpleasant in her mind, but not the one she had hoped for… Lucifer’s scent of burning evergreens, and fire was her favorite… Balthazar’s sea breeze and scotch a close second. Blinking her eyes slowly she lifts her head, and looks around the car to see Cas staring out the nearby window with a hand on Dean’s lap, Dean was driving with a guilty looking smile… Steff didn’t need to look in his mind to figure out what they were doing. Sam however was watching her carefully with a calculating look like she might attack him or something, and that’s when it dawns on her… she had attacked them a few hours ago. Looking at her hand quickly Firinne raises his head slightly still groggy from the medicine which seemed to have just as much effect on him as it did her.   
“Where… where am I?” Steff asks shakily as she sits up and moves away from Sam tiredly retreating into the spot closest to the other door keeping her injured wings tucked in close to her body.   
“It’s alright Steff, it’s just us.” Sam says quietly and he catches Dean’s eyes in the mirror. Cas discreetly hands Sam a syringe full of the drugs and Steff even in her haze notices the bright blue liquid inching closer to her.  
“No… Stay back!” Steff tries to shout at him but it comes out quite a bit quieter than she was hoping. “Don’t… please.” She begs as she feels Sam puncture her skin with the syringe and then the cold bite of the drugs he was forcing into her body. “Caleb help…”  
“Shh Angel it’s alright… there’s a good Angel just go to sleep on Sammy… Shh.” Dean soothes from the front of the car as Steff pulls away from Sam’s strong grip, pushing weakly at him.  
“No… Caleb… Firinne help!” She calls weakly hoping to gain one of their attentions but Firinne had long slipped under, and Caleb couldn’t hear her in the waking world the barrier between Other was too strong. So she drifted back down into a darkness that she no longer feared, but was rather accustomed to. 

13 hours later

Steff this time awoke to the feeling of being carried somewhere, she opens her eye slightly just enough to get a look at her surroundings to see that she is being placed on a bed. Not a familiar bed so she assumes they had stopped for the night given the fading light streaming through the dingy window. Maintaining her half asleep cover she notices Dean and Cas walk back outside while Sam goes into the nearby bathroom. Lifting herself weakly she forces her body up with sheer determination and walks toward the door. Stopping and then checking for any sign of the others she steps through only to be thrown back roughly landing with a crash against the opposite wall.  
“Fuck…” Steff groans out as she lies there dazed and seeing stars. She watches as Sam rushes out of the bathroom with gun drawn only to find her leaning against the wall heavily.  
“Steff are you alright?”  
“I’m just fan-fucking-tastic Sam.” Steff growls as she feels him lift her up, walk over to the bed, and place her on it. Once setting her down, he goes to a nearby table where he draws the needed amount of blue medicine and Steff scrambles of the bed away from him and into the nearest corner.  
“Steff come on it’s not that bad.” Sam says with a tired look. “I’m pretty sure I still have a bruise from where you hit me yesterday… now just stay still before I have to get Cas to hold you down.”  
“Wait… Sam don’t, please it hurts.” Steff begs with tears in her eyes and she wasn’t lying it hurt to be forced to sleep for long periods of time. “Sam I won’t fight, please just don’t.”  
“Steff… If you fight I will not hesitate to dose you.” Sam says and he can see Steff’s muscle physically relax as she leans back with a sigh of relief. Picking her up gently he puts her back on the bed for the second time and she lays there complacently watching Sam watch her.  
“Stop staring at me.” Steff gripes as she continues to eye the syringe warily and Sam just rolls his eyes while tucking it back in the bag safely out of sight. She has to bite her lip not to leap forward and run, but she didn’t fancy being under again nor breaking his trust.   
“I suggest you go back to sleep for now. I’ll wake you when they come back with food.” Sam tells her and she nods closing her eyes slipping under.

Dream

“Steff there you are, I have been trying to reach you since you called! Are you and Firinne alright?” Caleb asks with worry as he notices the disheveled state of the angel.   
“We are… just a lot of falling, fighting, and drugs…. Takes a toll on my body trying to heal all the time. How are you fairing?” Steff asks as she watches Firinne shift into a tiny octopus and climb through the hole in her hand playfully.   
“As well as I have for centuries… I wish we could heal you faster, but I am afraid the best I can do is your wings. Your body refuses to allow my assistance no matter how hard I try to help you… Stubborn angel.” Caleb says with a smile as he wraps his body against her wings again…. “I am very sorry for this, you will wake from this.”   
“AHHHH!!!” Steff screams at the intensity of the pain.

Awakeness

“Steff, Steff, Steff please wake up! Are you okay?” Cas’ horrified voice rings in her ears as she blinks into consciousness. He is watching her closely trying to discern the place of discomfort as she sits up breathing hard. Sam and Dean are no where to be seen.  
“Where?” She manages to croak out and Cas gestures to to the car outside.   
“Are you okay?”  
“Mm fine Cas.” Steff murmurs while laying back down resting, waiting for the blinding pain to subced enough for her to focus on something other than that. However out of the corner of her eye she notices Cas coming closer. Throwing up a wall of white flame around her she stops the approaching angel in his tracks. “Don’t come any closer.”  
“Very well.. I was merely checking on your injuries.”  
“They’re fine Castiel.” Steff says bitterly while keeping the wall high even as her brothers enter. They find her facing the wall with her flames surrounding her body protectively.  
“Hey Angel.” Dean says cheerily, but Steff just pulls her wings over her body effectively hiding her from their sight. “Someone’s grumpy.”  
“I am not grumpy!” Steff shouts at him having finally had enough of this. She wasn’t that injured anymore and as long as she didn’t get hit by any cars she would be fine. “Did any of you even think that I might not be so appreciative of your ‘help’ because I am in the middle of something very important.” Steff yells at them as her fire dies down and outside lightning strikes a nearby tree with a deafening crack. “No of course not because I’m never doing anything important… hell the title Keshet is just for show nothing more.” She vents angrily while standing up on shaky legs and pointing to the door. “Open it now.”  
“Steff we can’t…”  
“Now Dean.” Steff commands in an unwavering voice, she had wasted enough time. Those creatures needed saving and hell be damned if she was going to waste anymore time.   
“Steffanie, I really believe you should settle back down.” Cas suggest as he slowly approaches her with the syringe in hand.  
“No, now open that damn door.” Steff growls lowly as she melts the syringe in Cas’ hand and turns to her brothers. “Get rid of the symbol now, I can feel it.” She commands while donning a pair of dark washed jeans, an emerald green v-neck, and her black cowboy boots.   
“Please…”  
“Shut up Sam and get rid of the symbol.” Steff snaps cutting him off mid sentence she could apologize later right now she had to go. So with a glare Sam walks over to the table and reaching underneath it he scratches the paint. Steff nods in thanks and walks out the door now unhindered by the old spell. Steff wants to spread her wings and fly, but she is afraid of crashing again so she starts walking in the direction of Ireland. Steff knows that Lucifer is on his way as is Michael, but that is an easy fix as she blocks out the bonds rendering her untrackable by angelic standards at least. “Firinne it is time.”  
“Finally, hey watch this.” Firinne says aloud as he shifts into a small black ethereal wolf puppy and walks beside her. Steff smiles at the surprise and looks to her hand to see it still cloaked in black. “I can feed off your strength now that you are at full strength for the most part.”  
“I see, now let’s go save your people.” Steff tells him as the pair stalk off in the general direction of the Atlantic Ocean.

Back at the Motel Room

Cas and Sam look at each other with utter defeat. They had been bested again and again by Steff and quite frankly it was frustrating that their younger sister was more influential, powerful, and threatening than several grown men. However before Sam can think about it further Dean walks in with several bags of food and a smile, though the smile soon fades as he notices them short one person.  
“Son of a bitch!” Dean curses as he sets the food down and glares at the two who were supposed to watch her. “How did she escape?”  
“She… well it’s my fault.” Sam starts as he looks away from his older brother with a guilty look.  
“Why?”  
“I didn’t administer the dose to her immediately after she awoke, but she was in so much pain Dean… I couldn’t bring myself to put her in more, also she went to sleep on her own so I figured she would be… I don’t know… complacent.” Sam explains and Dean just sighs while rubbing the bridge of his nose.  
“Samuel what did I tell you in the car?”  
“Alright Dean knock it off I’m not a child.”  
“What did I tell you?” Dean shouts at him startling Sam into answering.  
“Don’t trust her no matter how pitiful she looks.”  
“And what did you do? You trusted her and now she’s gone so good job.”  
“Dean he has a point that medicine forces her to sleep against her natural will so it would hurt her very much, and if she has been on it for about a week so the pain must be phenomenal.” Cas says in defense of Sam, and he watches Dean relax a little. “If you saw her in that much pain I doubt you could have done it either.”  
“Fair enough, but we need to find her before someone else realizes she’s not here.”  
“Who's not here?” Gabriel asks pleasantly as he appear next to Sam with a smile.   
“Gabe now is not really the time we’re sorta in the middle of something.”   
“Sammy come play with me.” Gabriel whines while Dean just rolls his eyes and Sam sighs.  
“Can’t, we’re looking for Steff.”  
“Oh I just saw her on my way here she’s by the state line.” Gabriel answers helpfully while walking out the door. “See that dot way over there… Cas can you see her?”  
“Yeah, but why is she walking not flying?”  
“From the air I saw that her body is covered in scratches, bruises, and her wings looked rather dingy to put in nicely.”  
“Do you think Lucifer ever fed her?” Dean asks with newfound concern having seen Steff fall from lack of nourishment, and dehydration.   
“Yes but it has been several days since I forced her to eat, I forget that it is necessary for her to survive and it’s not like she tells anyone these things.” Lucifer answers as he appears next to them, having felt her go dark in his mind fearing the worst he decided to come check it out.   
“How far do you think she can go before she realizes that hunger alone will stop her?” Cas asks as he grabs one of the bags.  
“Let’s go.” Lucifer says as he grabs the other one knowing Dean wouldn’t mind if it meant keeping his sister alive, and besides Dean had learned that angels need a lot of calories so if Steff was there he bought extra even if she said she didn’t want it. So in a blink of an eye they disappear into the night and reappear near the town of Franklin, IN far from the state line. Looking around quickly they see a flash of red hair in an otherwise desolate landscape.   
“Go away!” They hear her shout as she keeps walking away, but they follow instead watching her slow to allow them to catch up. She eventually slows to a stop leaning against a nearby tree as the dizziness overtakes her again, and that is when she smells it… food! Turning around quickly she notices the crinkling of paper bags and the smell of french fries. Steff looks at the men offering the bags and then backs away slowly.   
“No Sweetheart it’s okay, come on I know you're hungry.” Lucifer says softly and she watches him warily while stepping forward slowly. “That’s right, come on it’s just food.”  
“...” Steff says nothing while getting close enough to snatch the bad and then retreat back like a frightened animal. Sitting down on the ground she puts up a tall wall of flame around herself and starts to tear into the greasy burger and fries. Demolishing the food in nearly record time she pokes her head up over the wall and looks for more, she can see the second bag in Dean’s hand.   
“If you want it you gotta come out.” Dean says and Steff growls at him in frustration while creating a corridor of flames between her and Dean separating him from the help of others.   
“Fine, but it will be on my terms.” Steff says with a smirk as she gets up happily, trotting over, and grabs the offered bag with a smile. “Thanks Dean.” She whispers while shifting her barrier back around herself. Dean just smirks and that’s when he notices a small black shadow following hers. Drawing his weapon swiftly he shoots without asking question. Steff instantly puts up a barrier stopping the bullet before it could hit Firinne.   
“Steff watch out!”   
“Dean stop!” Steff shouts as she throws the gun from his hands and into the dirt. “Firinne are you okay?” She asks the shadow wolf and he nods his head quickly  
“What is that?” Sam asks in curiosity as he approaches Steff, but she growls defensively so he backs off.  
“He is the reason I have to go.” Steff answers curtly while eating as she walks. They watch her rip off a tiny piece of burger and offer it to the shadow who gobbles it up quickly.  
“Steff that is delicious!” It’s childlike voice rings in their ears as she offers it more.  
“Caleb never said you needed food had I known I would have gotten you some.” Steff replies while offering him the burger patty and she ate the other stuff.   
“Papa says we don’t need food to survive, but it allows us to better communicate with those in the waking world.” It explains and the other’s eyes widen in slight fear.  
“Uh… Sweetheart what is that?” Lucifer asks in mild fear.  
“This is Firinne.” Steff responds quickly and the others still stare in questioning. “He is the son of the creature I am helping to free his species from a cruel, and unnecessary fate.”   
“Okay, and is that the reason you're leaving?” Lucifer asks and she nods her head.  
“And you cannot stop me, I will save them if it kills me… they have had an awful life and I will not allow this one to be forced into it… He will be free.” Steff says with determination and they all raise their hands in a non-threatening gesture.   
“Of course, but do you intend to do it alone?” Cas inquires and Steff nods with a sheepish smile.   
“Now Darling that hurts my feelings… We’re a team you and I so let’s go save them from subjugation together.” Balthazar says as he appears within her circle with a smirk.   
“Hey what about us? We’re always good for a fight.” Sam and Dean chirp up, but Steff shakes her head in no.  
“This is a magic much older than God himself, and I will not allow you two to come.”   
“Steff that’s really not your decision, I’m the oldest and if I say we’re going we’re going.” Dean says and Steff just sighs knowing that arguing with him would get them nowhere.   
“Fine…” She relents and lowers her fire completely. “Anyone else?”  
“Well I am your mate so I’ll be going, just let me tell The Fallen.” Lucifer says disappearing quickly and then reappearing just as fast. “Okay let’s go.”   
“Cas, Gabriel?”   
“No, I believe that we will stay back as backup in case things go awry, knowing you they probably will.” Gabriel answers and Cas nods as well. “Good luck and godspeed .” He says in a mock salute while disappearing to investigate something, Cas shrugs and follows Gabriel as well.   
“Steff as they say in the movies, break a leg.” They hear Michael say as he appears suddenly and he grabs her right hand. “Caleb is a smart being, but he can also be very gullible so make sure you analyze every situation carefully before you act. Also your hand is healing nicely.” Michael warns them as he unwraps Firinne and gestures to the bone reformed completely the flesh however had yet to come back. “Firinne is very good at what he does, not only is he Caleb’s son but he specializes in healing.”   
“Michael how?” Steff asks having told no one of this till now.  
“Steff why do you think you no longer have those nightmares? I guard your dreams, so in turn that allows me easy access to your mind.”   
“I see… well thank you but stay out of my head, there’s enough people in it already without you.”  
“Ahh but I am a free angel I no longer take orders from you nor Father so I shall do as I please.” Michael says with a playful smile as he releases her hand gently smoothing a few of her feathers back into place. “You will start shedding soon so I suggest you take care of this quickly because you will not be able to fly once it starts.”  
“Okay so time is of the essence.” Steff confirms and with a guilty smile she suddenly picks up Firinne then disappears. She thought it admirable that they wanted to come with her, but she worked better alone.... always, no exceptions. So she flies fast, and far leaving no trail behind her… It was the only way to assure their safety.


	3. Freedom!

Lucifer’s POV

“Shit!” Lucifer growls as he launches himself into the air, he wasn’t going to be bested by her again. He would find her this time even if that meant calling up a pack of Hell hounds to catch her scent.... pitiful he knows, but his wife was far to clever for her own good.   
‘Lucifer you won’t find her.’ Michael’s voice rings in his mind, he chooses to just ignore it, and flapping his wings quickly in powerful strokes continuing on. ‘Luc come back.’  
‘Fuck off Michael I’m not going to be left behind, she’s going to get my help whether she wants it or not.’  
“Lucifer you are not listening to me!” Michael insists angrily as he uses his powers to knock him off track. This gets his younger brother’s attention effectively as he stops mid flap and turns to face his brother who is hovering above the ground.  
“Okay what do you know that I don’t.”  
“Not anything in particular but when she sleeps next we will find her or at least where she is going… Are the drugs still in her system?”  
“Faintly, but yes.”  
“Good then she will be forced to sleep at least one more time, and that dear brother is when we find her.” Michael explains with a smile and Lucifer just sighs.  
“Fine… who knew you were so diabolical.”  
“I’ve learned from the best.”  
“Go to hell.” Lucifer growls with a smirk and Michael just laughs.  
“Been there done that… to be honest I’d rather go back to Purgatory.”  
“You know I could arrange that.”  
“Yes, but Steff would literally kill you, go to Purgatory, save me, and then save you only so she could do it all again.” Michael says as the pair land gracefully back with the others who look less than pleased. They also notice the new addition of Wyatt the one and only Prophetic angel of Hell’s legion.   
“Where is she?” Wyatt asks urgently and Lucifer shakes his head.  
“We couldn’t find her why?”  
“Not good… not good at all… fuck I knew this would happen...God Dammit!” Wyatt curses himself as he punches a nearby tree in frustration causing it to come crashing down; this worries Lucifer immensely since Wyatt was a very pacifistic angel, he only fought in dire consequences.   
“What’s going on?”  
“Lucifer, I don’t know how it will happen or when, but she will die on this mission… or at least part of her will… I can’t be sure, either way death is bad.” Wyatt tells him and Lucifer pales at his words.  
“What!”  
“It came in a vision last night. The room was pitch black, but the light of a blood red moon could be seen coming in through a window. She was chained to a wall battered and broken, a black force surrounding her fighting to free her… But it was … soon the scene changed to her seizing violently on an altar made of stone, wings splayed under her…. Her eyes… Lucifer her eyes were…”  
“What Wyatt, they were what?” Lucifer asks in panic knowing that this was bound to be awful.  
“Her eyes were gone, and in their stead two black abysses that sucked the life from any who dared look into them.” Wyatt finishes as his body begins to shake in fear. “Help…. Death… Fear… Truth…. Darkness..” The angel mumbles cryptically as he falls to his knees. Cas rushes to his side helping to pick him up while Sam and Dean look at each other in horror.   
“Well this just got really morbid.” Balthazar says breaking the uneasy silence that had befallen the group. “Lucifer are you...”  
“You insolent little British prick! This is your fault!” Lucifer shouts as he turns to face the stunned angel.  
“My fault? And I’m not quite sure I like that tone dear brother.”   
“Oh you will have more to worry about than my tone when this is over Balthazar… When we are done here I am going to pluck each one of your feathers out of your wings one by one, and when I’m done with that I’m going to snap your arches…. Next I shall throw you to my hounds and watch with a smile on my face as they rip you into pieces.” Lucifer threatens as he tackles his younger brother to the ground. He wraps his hands around his throat and squeezes watching with a satisfied smile as Balthazar’s eyelids flutter. Cas and Gabriel go to stop him, but Michael grabs their shoulders stopping them.  
“Steff.. won’t… let you.”   
“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, and I’m going to relish in your screams… maybe I’ll record them so I can play them over and over again reliving the joy of the moment.” Lucifer tells him while getting off of him and lifting him into the air then dropping the gasping angel to the ground. “Touch her again and I will make this prophecy come true.”  
“Lucifer you know…”  
“No what I know is that Steff was fine before all of you other angel’s tried to lay claim on what has always been mine from the beginning… Anyone who touches her will meet the very same fate I have just described for this despicable excuse of life.” Lucifer spits as he spreads his wings and heads in the direction of the Atlantic ocean, he was more likely to catch her trail that way then sulking in Hell.

Steff’s POV  
Dunluce Castle Ruins, Ireland

“Firinne is this the place?” Steff asks as she watches the black being slip of her hand and into his wolf form.  
“It is… This is where Papa told me of the deal that was forged between us and them. He told me that we will have to enter the building to understand what happened.” Firinne says with uneasiness walking close to Steff for protection.  
“I will not let them hurt you Firinne, I will defend you till my last breath.” Steff promises him and he nods still looking apprehensive as they approach the ruins. She looks around hesitantly noticing the eerie feeling about the place. Taking no chances she draws her blade and keeps her powers close prepared for anything. Stepping through the threshold she feels a sudden wave of fear, and not just a mild case but rather soul rocking, boot shaking fear… something that no one could outrun or make disappear with a simple thought. Tightening her grip on the ebony-colored blade in her hand she presses onward dispelling the fear for the most part, searching for it’s source. It doesn’t take her long as she follows it to a large worn room with shackles in the corner, a window to her left, and an old banner barely hanging on the wall in front of her. It bore the symbol of a griffin the very same one she had seen in her dreams. “Firinne what is it you wish to show me?”  
“Steff, I am sorry… Papa said we would be free if I took you here… Please forgive me, all we want is freedom.” Firinne whispers as he backs away from her in shame and fear. She feels herself slammed against the heavy stone wall, and too shocked to defend herself she is soon beaten by a massive wave of black. The creatures she was supposed to be saving… the creatures that had betrayed her… but she notices out of the corner of her eye once they finished hitting her and shackled her to the wall that Firinne and Caleb were huddled in a corner far away from the violence. She can see Caleb placing himself in front of Firinne and his hands over his ears so he doesn’t have to watch as she is beaten into submission.  
“So this is the mighty Keshet? The Angel only seconded by God himself… A woman go figure, tell me Sweetie hows it feel to be defeated?”  
“Well to be honest I’m a little bored… seriously using these guys to do your dirty work, that’s sick man… and so is your breath when is the last time you brushed your teeth or even bathed… no wonder their your henchmen you can’t get anyone else to be near you.” Steff says with a disgusted sigh flapping her wings slightly to fan the stench of rotting flesh away from her face. This was the man Caleb had shown her and even from a few feet away she could tell his grip on these beings was fading, though she had to confess she wasn’t quite sure her role in this man’s plan.   
“You are most likely wondering why you're here well..”  
“Actually I could care less, I’m more interested in getting a can of Febreze to help freshen this room.” Steff taunts with a smirk spitting blood onto the nearby stone.  
“Well aren’t you just a delightful little spitfire… Tell me what’s your real name, they must call you something else?”   
“It’s Su… and that's short for shut up.” Steff says with a chuckle that wasn’t one of her best but hey it wasn’t her worst.  
“You know I have other means of finding out… Firinne, little one come to me.” He commands and Steff stiffens at this. “Yes that’s it little one, tell me what’s her name?’  
“I don’t know… Papa only called her Keshet.” Firinne lies as he looks at the decaying man in fear.  
“Fine, Caleb her name.” He demands and Steff could tell his patience was ending quickly.   
“I don’t know.”  
“Caleb do not lie to me, I know that you know now tell me before Firinne meets your wife in the afterlife.” He threatens but Caleb stands firm as he watches the man raise his hand producing a ball of eerie green fire.  
“Steff! My name is Steff.” She shouts quickly unwilling to watch the family be decimated anymore even if they were her downfall. “Steff Winchester.”  
“Winchester? I believe I have met your father once… John Winchester.”  
“I hate to say it but that man isn’t my father, though I’m really not sorry… both of my real fathers suck.” Steff says and the man cocks his head in confusion.  
“What?”  
“See he was possessed by my real father, Azazel angel of darkness… He should be along very shortly, doesn’t like it when someone steals his little girl.” Steff lies and she can see the man’s resolve waver slightly. “And you must know of my mate and consort right?”  
“Mate… Consort?” He stutters and Steff just smirks at his fault.  
“Well aren’t you just one sorry uninformed son of a bitch when they arrive your ass is most certainly grass… My mate is Lucifer the angel fallen from heaven, King of Hell, and Ruler to the damned… My consort… well he’s Michael, Heaven’s great general, and fiercest fighter. Tell me do you really wish to contend with the power of Heaven and Hell?” Steff bluffs knowing that neither of those people knew where she was, but hell if it saved her ass then who cared.  
“Very well, but where are they hmm? Not here, because if I had to guess I’d say you were more of a lone ranger… probably unwilling to put others at risk right?” He taunts and Steff had to give him that, when someone’s right their right.  
“Believe what you want, but you better be wary an angel’s wrath is a mighty scary thing… So now that you know my name what’s yours, only fair since I told you mine?”  
“I suppose there is no harm in you knowing since I am going to kill you anyways. Zeus Redbeard.”   
“Zeus Redbeard really? Who named you an elf?” Steff scoffs, she knew that this man was most likely around in the viking age so that’s probably why his name was so outlandish to her. However she needed to buy time, as she turned on her bonds she sent fear and pain through it to attract Lucifer, and Michael… She just had to give them enough time to get here.   
“Wow and I thought you were an angel?”  
“No you mistake me, I am an Angel of Hell.” She says as she can feel Lucifer growing nearer, if she could just hold him off a little longer she would be saved. “See I was made in Hell, I sold my soul to save my brothers.”  
“Quite selfless of you and to be honest it was courageous of you to come alone but look at you now.”  
“Ehh I’ve been in much worse situations. “ Steff says and to be honest this wasn’t nearly as awful as Zeus believed it to be. “Hell I’ve had hair days worse than this.”   
“I am going to enjoy this so much.” Zeus tells her as he picks up a ceremonial dagger and makes his way towards her menacingly. “What no snappy comments?”  
“Just one… flame on!” Steff shouts as her powers light up the room in a bright white fire. Her flames encompass the man completely burning his already rotten flesh creating a dreadful smell in the room and she can feel herself choking on it. As the flames are melting the man piece by piece she hears Lucifer burst through a stone wall wings puffed out and looking rather heroic with Michael and Gabriel flanking his sides. “Hey Sexy.” Steff calls out from the corner with a smirk and her lover races to her aid while Michael draws his blade prepared for attack.  
“You are in so much trouble after this.” Lucifer whispers in her ears as he uses his powers to ice the tumblers in the lock effectively breaking it.   
“Whatever… Michael no, let them kill him… Creatures I know this is unprecedented, but I wish for you to help me slay this man.” Steff orders and no sooner than the words left her mouth the wave of darkness that had once descended on her descends onto the burning man. She watches as it consumes him completely extinguishing the fire, but then she notices pieces of him being torn away. Large chunks of burnt flesh are scattered around the room in less than twenty minutes. “I am sorry that I can offer you no greater retribution for what he and many others have done to your kind, but I can proudly offer you your freedom. Please leave this plain and return to your long awaited home in the Other.” She watches with a smile as the creatures take all sorts of animal forms both real and mythical many bowing at her feet and others making noises of gratitude. Though two in particular stand out to her the most as the others cheer. It is Caleb and Firinne who are now embracing each other as wolves, a heartwarming sight. She feels a single tear slip down her eyes and Lucifer kisses her head gently.  
“How does it feel to have single handedly saved a species?” Lucifer asks as she just smirks then wraps her arms around him tightly.  
“Ehh it’s nothing compared to kissing you.” Steff whispers and he leans down with a smile kissing her passionately.   
“Steff?” Firinne’s voice rings out near her feet and she pulls back to see him sitting there with a sad look.   
“Yes Firinne.”  
“I want you to know that I am very sorry for what my father and I did… He promised he wouldn’t hurt you and that we would be free.”   
“It’s alright Firinne I forgave you the moment it happened… If it were my family I would do anything to save them.” Steff says as she looks into Caleb’s eyes with an understanding gaze. “I have been in your shoes before and it is a difficult decision, but we must make the choices we believe to be right… Now go, go back to the Other and enjoy the rest of your life.”  
“If you are ever in need we will be there.” Caleb promises as he and the rest slowly fade from the rooms. She can’t help but smile when she notices the feeling of fear finally lifted from the atmosphere replaced by an overwhelming sense of joy.   
“You know you have some pretty serious consequences waiting back in America.” Lucifer murmurs in her ears and she looks at him in confusion.  
“Why?”  
“Steff you beat your brothers unconscious as well as Michael, you beat Cas, Balthazar, and me… Plus you literally just left us all worrying in the middle of a field.” Lucifer says as he suddenly sweeps her off her feet and into his arms. “Also you never finished negotiating with those creatures.”  
“Luci, I am terrible at that… Like it’s a miracle I didn’t get anyone killed…. and put me down.”  
“Well yes, you are right about being terrible at that but every angel needs a job and you don’t quite seem to fit in anywhere.”  
“Just call me maverick.” Steff mutters with a smirk as she rolls out of his grip and jumps out the hole in the wall. She launches herself high into the air flapping her powerful black wings till she reaches a high altitude where she just coasts on the air currents for several minutes, reveling in the feeling of flying. As she makes her way back to the states she comes to the one spot she knew Cas would take her brothers… Bobby’s house. She loves going to Bobby’s truly she does, but when it involves her angry brothers… well that’s a whole nother story entirely. Dean could be heard from outside the house ranting about how irresponsible she was, and Sam was right beside him shouting curses that she wasn’t even sure he knew. Bobby however was merely standing there reading from a large tome, Steff didn’t know what but it looked ancient.   
“Sweetheart you should go in.” Lucifer prods as he appears behind her, it hadn’t taken much to figure out where she was going. “Waiting only makes them angrier.”  
“I know, but… I’m still trying to think of a way to not get killed.” Steff responds as she backs up only to back into Lucifer’s strong grip. Now that he had a hold on her she wasn’t going to be able to run this time. See Steff maybe be more powerful, but he was much stronger in grip.   
“No more running Sweetheart.”  
“Come on, we could go play.” Steff suggests as she trailed kisses up his neck hoping to distract him enough to get out of this. “You promised me a punishment remember.”  
“Oh… you are a very, very, very bad angel indeed but this… Steff stop.” Lucifer commands with a sharpness, but Steff merely rolls her eyes and grinds her hips against his sensually. “Keshet, I mean it.”  
“Make me.” Steff whisper in his ear as she fiddles with his pants, but he grabs her hands and pins her to the ground. She tries to buck him off as he kisses her neck forcefully leaving bruises in his wake and her mouth releases a few pleasurable moans. With a smile Lucifer pulls off her jeans quickly then thrusts two fingers into her already soaking heat. Pumping them in and out forcefully he continues kissing her roughly, forcing his tongue into her mouth. Steff tries to pulls away, but she can’t and she allows herself to be fingered roughly on the cold slightly moist ground. Lucifer watched with a sadistic smile as her wings lost their dark coloring shifting into their almost blinding whiteness.   
“Sweetheart.”  
“Mm…” Steff moans into the kiss as she bucks her hips into his fingers trying desperately to get more of the digits inside of her, but Lucifer just continues to tease them out of her slowly. “Come, back.”  
“Ah, ah, ahh… this is all you get since you were a bad girl.” Lucifer teases as he pulls back completely leaving Steff on the ground in mild anger. He licks fingers sensually and she practically whimpers at his display as he pulls her jeans back up, and buttons them close.   
“Luci please.” She begs and the older angel just smirks as he gets off of her. “Fucking tease!”  
“Oh Sweetheart you don’t know the half of it… Now be a good girl and I might reward you.”  
“Fuck off… I’ll just go play with Balthazar.” Steff says in a humph as she turns on heel.  
“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!” Lucifer booms at her and Steff freezes in her tracks.  
“Nothing… I said nothing.” Steff mumbles out quickly cursing herself for her stupidity, she hadn’t meant to say it.  
“Steff I am going to put this to an end right now.” Lucifer growls as he disappears. Steff eyes widen at this knowing that he most likely intended to kill him.   
“Lucifer stop!” Steff shouts as she tackles him mid air causing them both to crash roughly on the ground with him on top of her. She gasps as her top left wing cracks as it hits the rocky ground, and Lucifer freezes his anger immediately disintegrating.   
“Oh fuck, Sweetheart I’m sorry I didn’t mean to..”  
“Not your fault, I tackled you.” Steff replies as she feels him pick her up delicately.  
“You shouldn’t tackle me, it’s dangerous.”  
“Yeah, but when has that ever stopped me.” Steff whispers as she feels him take them back to their house in Hell. She closes her eyes and leans into him as he sits on the bed slowly wary of her injuries.   
“I’ll fix it, just give me one moment.” Lucifer assures her as he disappears then reappears with a pair of Enochian carved handcuffs. Snapping them on her wrists loosely he lays her down on her stomach, then maneuvers the wing back into place. “This is going to…”   
“Fucker!” Steff screams as he heals it with no warning whatsoever. She feels herself kick him reflexively sending him sailing backwards against the closest wall causing him to grunt in pain as he slides down it. While she catches her breath she can see him stand up on shaky legs as he wobbles back over to the bed. “Sorry.”  
“You’ve got quite a kick… no more kick boxing for you.” Lucifer mutters as he watches her smile a little at the comment.   
“Hey… you aren’t going to hurt him right?” Steff asks cautiously knowing that the angel in question had come to her with fears of getting dismembered by Lucifer.   
“I…”  
“Lucifer I would never forgive you if you did… I would be gone faster than you could blink.” Steff says to him an unwavering tone showing she meant business. “As much as I hate to admit it, I love the little prick… and I won’t allow you or anyone else to hurt him.”   
“Sweetheart surely you can’t mean that… I thought you loved me.”  
“Oh my sweet sweet naive Lucifer… I… shit.” Steff mutters and Lucifer watches in horror as the creature before him becomes a black being devoid of a face just like the ones they had…  
“What?”  
“I’m not Steff… in fact I never was, but thank you for the lovely time.” It whispers with a creepy tone as it dissolves into the darkness leaving Lucifer confused and very surprised.


	4. Contaminated, and left to rot

Steff’s POV

“Oh you can’t tell me that was it? Simply to easy!” Zeus says with a laugh as he finishes strapping Steff down to the stone altar. Her wings were spread out under her and her mind lost in a thick haze… some sort of spell he had done. Zeus had fooled them into believing they had come in and saved the day a lot easier than he thought it was going to be. Steff had watched in horror as the creature kissed her Lucifer, but she was unable to do anything other than scream in frustration.. but even that hadn’t caught his attention. He had left after the fake Steff and she had no idea where they were or what was happening only that this crazed human was going to take her eyes. It was for some sort of spell, so here she laid restrained, hazy, and about to become blind but still unafraid. She had faith that someone would discover the truth before he could complete his task. So she waited with bated breath as the light from a blood red moon spilled over her body.  
“I still don’t understand the point of this… if you want power why not take my soul.” Steff conjectures merely wasting more time hoping someone would discover the truth before he could complete his task.  
“Well the eyes…” He starts explaining, but Steff isn’t really listening she’s more focused on forming some sort of escape plan. Touching the minds of nearby things she hopes to send a message to someone or hell she’d settle for something else coming to kill her. “Tell me have you given up your ridiculous notion of being saved?”  
“No not really, and besides I’ll still be alive after this right?”  
“Yes, you’ll be blind, powerless, and most likely in a lot of pain…. but alive.”  
“I was kicking the asses of people like you before I had powers and I can do it again without them… besides angels don’t need eyes to see we can feel the essence of every single living creature, I would just see that way. Also you realize you just tricked the two most powerful creatures below God and I. How do you think they’re going to feel when they discover the truth? If I were you I would just start running now, let these poor creatures go and leave.” Steff commands as she channels her mind, trying to focus what little she can on the bindings around her wrists and ankles.   
“You can’t honestly believe that I would just give up now when I am so close to my goal… In a few minutes I will be strong enough to become the new God.”   
“I don’t think you really want my job.” A voice that Steff hadn’t expect to hear says in a light tone.  
“Took you long enough.” Steff gripes as she twists against the bonds, which he destroys with a flick of his wrist.   
“Rather ungrateful don’t you think.” God teases as he offers her a hand up which she takes gladly. “And besides I swore a long time ago to leave my creatures with their free will.”  
“Um.. I almost fucking died by that crazy ass mother fucker, he doesn’t deserve free will.” Steff points out as she uses the altar for balance and God shrugs.  
“Maybe but they will all receive it till I believe they don’t deserve it.”   
“How noble of you.” Zeus interjects suddenly as he stares God and her down. God just quirks an eyebrow at him like what the hell do you think you're doing.  
“This guy.” God mutters in shock and Steff just sighs. “Do you honestly believe that this is a job any would want?”  
“I know I would do a better job than you.” Zeus challenges and God just laughs at his insolence.   
“By all means here… I will show you what the world becomes when you rule it.” God answers and he places a hand to Zeus’ grimy forehead. Images of destruction, crumpling societies, and mass graves being dug are shown to the man who balks at this. He watches as he becomes an evil dictator who turned the world into a living cesspool of human hatred and greed. “So tell me how much better you would be at my job again.”  
“No that can’t be true… I wouldn’t.”  
“Zeus that is the one thing everyone always seems to forget about power… it turns the wrong person into the darkest most corrupt being you could ever imagine, and hell it does the same thing to even the most pure hearted individual… Some rule benevolently while others malevolently, but in the end they’re still rulers. No society can last forever with a dictator eventually people will rebel.” Steff explains to him and watches with a smile as he begins to decay faster.   
“What is happening?” Zeus says in confusion as his skin begins to melt away slowly.   
“I have given them back their free will a thing you took from them. I may not completely understand what these creatures are, but I know that they deserve the freedom of choice.” God says as he releases the bonds holding the creatures to this realm, and very quickly the darkness evaporates leaving Steff, God, Firinne, Caleb, and a rapidly decaying Zeus.  
“Ironic that you were named after the god of all gods only to be destroyed by the greatest one of all.” God points out with a smirk as he melts into a bloody puddle of bones and chunks of flesh.  
“Papa we’re free!” Firinne cries out joyfully as he lifts his head and howls happily at the crimson moon. Caleb says nothing just joins his son in howling at the moon.  
“Lucifer is pissed.” God states suddenly drawing Steff from the amusing scene. “Balthazar is terrified. I found him huddled in a corner of his Heaven… Steff you must choose.”  
“But…”  
“Keshet you cannot have both, I suggest you choose soon before he dies.”   
“He won’t die, and if he did then I would save him.”  
“How many times do you think Purgatory will let you enter and exit without consequence?”  
“I… I already..”  
“Oh so you have felt it then, tell me do you think you can lose anymore of your soul before it’s gone completely.”  
“Shut up God, rather cryptic for the guy who just saved me.” Steff scoffs as she watches the two black creatures finally disappear with tails wagging. God just smirks as he stands next to Steff on the cliff staring out into the dark ocean. She watched as the reddish moonlight glinted off of her bright wings, they were still in their natural color. God’s own charcoal ones were tinted red in the light giving them a malevolent glow. The pair says nothing rather just watching the dark waves crash against the cliff side, and the smell of crisp sea air wafts through the air reminding Steff of the lover she had to get rid of.   
“Keshet did you think they could honestly share your affections?” God asks after a few silence filled moments.  
“I… well… no.” Steff admits with a sigh, ever since the beginning she knew Lucifer would only allow her to be with him, and she wasn’t complaining at all… but at the same time she loved Balthazar, he always seemed to make her problems seem so small like they weren’t that big of a deal, and that stopped her constant worrying. “After I made the first connection with Cas I knew he would never allow another… He tolerated Castiel simply because he was my guardian, but Balthazar he was simply unwavering on his dislike of him.”  
“Yes I knew from the get go that this would never work out… Steff you have been doomed all your life and did you really think this would work out for you?”  
“Go fuck yourself God like seriously, can you be anymore depressing.”  
“You have much to learn little one.”  
“I’m not little you fuck!” Steff growls as she tackles him over the cliff, she had grown tired of his ‘wisdom’. God having been taken by surprise flies over the edge with Steff plummeting into cold oceanic waters. She can feel him struggling against her grip, but she refused to release him… he was going to learn…   
“You are a disrespectful, ungrateful, whore!” God shouts at her as he drags both of their asses up onto solid ground. “Of all the creatures I have ever helped you have got to be the worst… Tell me how does it feel to know that even the man who made you hates you?” God shouts at her as she lies on the beach breathing shallowly, he waits for her response but she says nothing just lies there breathing roughly... and then he realizes what he'd actually said to his daughter. “Steff?”  
“I’m fine… just go.”  
“Steff…”  
“Just. Fucking. Go!” Steff growls at him as she wraps herself in a wall of angry red fire leaving no part of her visible.  
“You may be….”  
“I don’t care what you have to say you asinine prick, just leave me alone.” Steff states with such finality that even God himself can’t argue with, so he leaves flapping his powerful wings towards Heaven where his job waited. He would send someone to watch her to make sure she wasn’t hurting herself.   
“He’s right… He’s fucking right and that’s the worse part.” Steff whispers to herself as she sits up with tears falling freely from her eyes. She should have thanked him not tackled him off a cliff, and she had slept with multiple angels like a common whore. It was curious to listen to him rant about how much he hated her since he was the man who created her… maybe he hadn’t anticipated her attitude, hell no one anticipated her attitude not even herself sometimes. Drawing her blade she grips the cold steel… it was everything she wanted to be reliant, dangerous, unyielding… but in reality she was all of those except unyielding but to be honest shouldn’t that have been a good thing… it didn’t feel like a good thing right now though. So with a reluctant sigh she drags it against her pale skin watching as the blood flowed freely, and with this her skin would gain another scar… just like her soul. “Funny how that works.” She whispers to herself as her tears mix with the blood slowly dripping into the sand she sat on. Steff smiles as her body slowly heals the wound, part of her was sad that it was healing but she just made another one. She never notices how her wall falls completely more concerned with creating wounds to watch her blood drain from her body.  
“Steff what are you doing?” A man’s voice comes from behind her, she doesn’t even hear him still to absorbed in her task. “Steffanie Marie Winchester what do you think you're doing?”  
“Dean?” Steff asks as she watches her brother kneel down in the bloody sand next to her.   
“What… Angel what are you doing?” Dean says as he pries the blade from her death grip.   
“Nothing…”  
“Really cause this would beg to differ.” Dean mutters as he pulls her arms out to inspect the damage. “You can’t keep doing that.”  
“I know… God hates me.”  
“Why do you say that?”  
“He legitimately just told me like twenty minutes ago… Is that why he sent you?”  
“No, actually Cas dropped me off… he said you were having a rough night.”  
“You don’t know the half of it… I thought you would be angrier.”  
“Kinda hard to be mad at your little sister when you find her cutting herself… Like I tried to be angry, but I just can’t find seem to find my inner anger.” Dean says as he places the blade away from her.  
“I see.” Steff murmurs as she stares out towards the ocean. She feels Dean wrap his arm around her shoulder and Steff leans into his shoulder.   
“So… you wanna talk about it?”  
“Not really, but I do enjoy this… takes me back to simpler times, and christ you're warm.” Steff whispers as she curls into Dean tighter trying to absorb his warmth. Dean looks at her curiously.   
“Steff you feel really hot to me… are you sure you're alright?” Dean says with concern as he feels her forehead and it’s burning. “Can angels get sick?”  
“Yees…” Steff says with a stutter shivering against her brother.   
“We need to get you out of the cold… Cas!” Dean shouts and the angel appears rapidly with a concerned look. “She’s burning up Cas.”  
“I believe she has contracted a disease from the failed spell…” Cas starts to explain but Dean cuts him off with a glare.  
“Cas I love you but take us to Sam.” Dean says and Cas obeys flying them both to Sam who was staying in a motel room near some rural town in Kentucky. She could see the cheap motel room wallpaper peeling off the walls sending a rather decaying vibe, but she says nothing just leaning quietly on Dean.   
“Dean is she alright?” Sam asks as he looks up from his laptop when he notices that she had neglected to say anything.   
“She’s getting sick, and cold does nothing to help her… Steff go take a hot shower, and I’ll get you some food.” Dean answers as he gestures to the bathroom. Steff doesn’t even argue just walks quietly into the small bathroom. She closes the door while stripping her clothes, and then shifting into her cat form. Using her powers to turn the water on and fill up the bathtub she sinks into the steaming hot water up to her head. As a cat you would think she would dislike the water, but right now she was rather happy as the blood, sand, and cold muddled the once clean water. She stays in the water till the water turns cold and then drags herself from the water with a heavy groan.   
“Cas…” Steff calls out weakly and her guardian angel opens the door slowly. “Can you pick me up?”  
“Steff why don’t you just shift back and walk?”  
“Cas please… I’m sick.” Steff whines and he relents producing a fluffy towel then grabbing her gently. He wraps it around her tightly ruffling her fur till she was dry. “Thanks Cas.” Steff says as she rubs her soft black head against his hand causing the angel to smile.  
“You're welcome, but are you going to shift back or…”  
“No, it’s easier to be like this for now.” Steff answers as she rests in Cas’ arms while he leaves the bathroom. Once back in the main room Dean gestures to the bowl of soup resting by one of the beds Cas puts her down on the bed and too lazy to shift back she just pads up to the bowl then starts to lap it up. Her brothers stare at her in mild amusement as she just lays back once she had enough on the bed. She curls up on a pillow with a sigh.   
“You going to bed?” Sam asks as he settles on the other bed while turning out the light.   
“Yeah…” Dean replies as he lifts up the covers and goes under them. “Night Cas.”  
“Goodnight Winchesters.” Cas says as he disappears into the night leaving the rest of them to fall asleep.

Some time near Dawn

Steff is jolted awake by a sudden whoosh of air in the silent room, she twists around at some point she had gravitated towards Dean. Her eyes dart around quickly to see Balthazar landing next to her with a warm smile.   
“Balthy?” Steff mumbles sleepily as she feels herself lifted into the air, and pulled into his warm embrace. “What?”  
“Shh come on Darling we’re going away for a few hours… it’s alright I’m not going to hurt you.” Balthazar assures and Steff curls into his arms.  
“Where do you think you are going?” Sam’s assertive voice asks as he sits up.  
“Sam it’s just me, and I’m her consort do you really need more explanation.”   
“Dude she’s getting sick just leave her here with us, no one likes to deal with a sick Steff.” Sam tells him and Balthazar just shrugs he’d be more than willing to take care of her.. he always had.  
“It’s fine Sammy… go back to sleep.” Steff mumbles as she shivers in her consort’s arms. “Tell Dean I’ll be back soon.” Steff whispers as they disappear and when they land they’re in Balthazar’s beach heaven. She continues shivering violently in his arms as he puts her on a nearby blanket, whimpering at the loss of warmth Balthazar soothes her and then comes back to the blanket with another smaller one. He wraps it around her cat body as he pulls her into his arms lying down on the blanket, shielding her from the chilly wind drifting off the lake with his wings.   
“Darling you are very cold… I’m not sure I like this.”  
“Balthazar just snuggle.” Steff commands as she pushes deeper into his warmth causing the other to smirk. “We need to talk.”  
“Hmm about what?”  
“It can wait till morning I think, let’s just enjoy this.” Steff stutters as her teeth continue to clack together.  
“Very well, but I’m taking you to med wing in the morning… I’m sure they can help you with this.”  
“No, I don’t believe they can Balthy… this is a problem of my own doing…” Steff trails off cryptically as she can feel part of her soul chipping away. This wasn’t a normal cold, no this is what happened when an angel’s soul cracked. The piece splinters leaving an open wound allowing for infection to be contracted, and she had been contaminated by the spell of Redbeard. So this was the price she had to pay for allowing it to break, and this wasn’t the first time she had experienced this pain… it happened both times she went to Purgatory as well as when she had to drag herself back from the realm of death, the only difference was that she was more aware of her weakness and her body compensated by pumping her full of grace… This time her grace had been restricted so her body was now feeling the effects heavily. Part of her wondered if she could break this man’s heart… the one she cuddled so closely to, the one who always seemed to show up when she needed him most. ‘Tell me can I bare anymore pain?’ She hears whispered in the back of her mind, and without realizing it she feels a single tear drip from her eye onto his gray shirt. Steff looks up to see if the man next to her was asleep and he was snoring softly. “May the light always grace your path, and the fear be conquered by love.” She says in a prayer while kissing his forehead gently as to not wake him. “May the memories of me be forgotten and the love between us dispelled.” Steff whispers with tears as she makes him forget her completely. “With these words whispered in sleep, I grant you freedom from my heart.” She finishes the spell and the imprint disappears from both of their fingers knowing that if she stayed any longer she would ruin this completely so she scampers out of the heaven. She streaks through halls as a small black cat, and she keeps running till she hits the end of Heaven… the door leading back to the earthly realm… she sits there crying staring out at the people who were just like her. Some crying, others sick, several drinking themselves to death, and others drinking to forget much like her Balthazar had tried… ‘Take the pain from my heart and...’ Steff starts to whisper, but she can’t bring herself to finish the spell; she couldn’t forget her consort… she never would. So she stared till the pain in her soul and her heart pushed her back into the cold clutches of sleep where she dreamed of nothing but horrendous nightmares... A fate she knew she deserved.


	5. Doubt from all, even my own heart

Midday

This time when she awoke she was no longer in Heaven rather the subdued brightness of Earth. She looked around hazily the car she was riding in hits a bump sending her into the air slightly.   
“Where am I?”   
“Hey look what the cat dragged in.”  
“Dean that doesn’t even make sense she’s been here the entire time.” Sam says and Dean just glares at him.  
“Shut up Sam, how are you feeling?”  
“Fine… where are we going?”  
“Um… Sam?”  
“A strange woman keeps appearing in children’s bedrooms than their parents are found eviscerated two nights later…” Sam answers and keeps explaining the case, but Steff just tunes him out as the events from last night finally make their way back into her mind. Part of her wants to go back and undo the spell but the other more logical part knows that this is for the best.   
“Steff? Hey Steff are you sure you're feeling alright?” Dean asks cutting through her thoughts like a knife through butter.  
“Yes Dean, sorry merely caught up in the last few days.”  
“So what did Balthazar need earlier?” Sam asks and Steff crinkles her brow at him. “He came and got you last night right?”  
“Uh yeah just needed some help with a charge that’s all… Hey how did I get back to you guys this morning?”   
“Michael came by said he found you sleeping in a hallway up there figured you must have just tuckered yourself out.” Sam answers and Steff silently wonders if he knew about what she did.  
“Hello Winchesters.” Michael says pleasantly as he appears next to Steff as a fluffy white cat with knowing blue eyes. “Steff how are you feeling today?”  
“Why does everyone keep asking me that? I’m fine alright! I am so fine it’s not even on the level of fineness how fine I am!” Steff shouts at the men who stare at her in confusion, realizing that her outburst alone would cause suspicion she slinks down under the seat away from their prying eyes. Michael sighs as he follows her to the small area.  
‘So that spell you did was it for you or him?’ Michael’s voice inquires quietly in her mind and she glares at him.  
‘I can’t have them both so I set him free, he will no longer know me at all… he can be happy.’  
‘You say that as though he wasn’t happy before.’  
“How could he be he wasn’t allowed to love me freely lest he face Lucifer’s wrath, and that is no way for his affections to be wasted. I would rather he find an angel who can love him wholly.” Steff says out loud as she pops back out from under the seat, her brothers give her quizzical looks but say nothing. They had learned a long time ago that matters of an angel’s heart were complicated, dangerous, and messy.  
“But see that's the beauty of his loving you, it was his own choice and now you have taken away his free will. Tell me would you have grown to love Lucifer if not for that horrific situation he put you in? I don’t think so because most people hate their captors, hell they fight to escape them but no you went flying back to him the moment he stepped on this Earth. So tell me again how much better you are without the man who loved you without torturing you till you only saw him as your savior!” Michael shouts angrily at her as he stares down the sheepish black cat who has nothing left to say, no more excuses to make… nothing, but the guilt in her heart. “That is what I thought, so I hope for his sake that he never remembers you since he is so much better off without you.”   
“Michael what are you…” Sam starts, but before he can finish the cat disappears with one last glare at Steff. “I am so confused.”  
“Just drop it Sam, it’s not worth knowing.” Steff replies dejectedly as she shifts back and lies on the back seat with her wings wrapped around her protectively. She starts to groom the feathers, pruning out the dying ones to make room for the new ones… like what she had done to Balthazar’s heart she had gotten rid of herself in order for him to grow. So with that she continued to prune her feathers as well as her heart, though the she doubted it would ever truly be clear of him. He was like dried blood in the very heart of her wings that held several broken feathers together. It would never be washed away without direct interference so those pesky broken feathers would remain an unwelcome itch till she went after them. Sam sighs as he watches the dark feathers shed their inkiness and it is replaced to a pure snow white that catches the sunlight streaming in through the windows.  
“You wanna talk about it because we’re men and this is a matter between a man and woman so it would be helpful to hear it from our side.” Dean explains and Steff just sighs in defeat.  
“God told me of the impending doom if I continue to use Balthazar as my consort, so I made him forget my entire existence.. had I had enough heart I would have did the spell on myself as well so I would know only Lucifer, but I couldn’t do it. So now I’m left with the memories while he remembers nothing.” Steff tells them and they sit there silent for a number of minutes before Dean says something.  
“That… well… um… I think you made the right decision.”  
“Really?” Sam and Steff both say in mild surprise.  
“Yes because now you aren’t burdened by the stress of having to balance both relationships, and now he is free to find his own lover.”  
“My reasoning exactly, but Michael feels that I am taking away his free will.”  
“No it would only be taking it away if he knew he loved you in the first place, what you did he doesn’t even know who you are.” Dean points out and Sam just scowls at this.   
“This whole situation sucks Sam so don’t get all high and mighty on me now, it was either continuously break both of their hearts or just let one go… I couldn’t leave Lucifer if I tried, but Balthazar was fine before me and without me he’ll be even better.” Steff growls at him while unfolding herself and sitting upright.   
“Keep telling yourself that Steff and see how far it gets you.” Cas’ gruff tone rings through the car as he appears next to her in the back seat.  
“Oh not you too…. How did you even find out?”  
“Gabriel told Michael, Michael told Father, Father told me, and then told Lucifer.”  
“How did Gabriel know?”  
“He saw you exit, and he heard the spell… an ancient spell such as that resonates with Archangels more so than the lower ones.” Cas explains, and Steff just grumbles. “I think it’s an awful decision.”  
“Well it’s not one you get to make! It’s my life, and you can’t tell me how to run it.” Steff shouts at him while opening the door.   
“Steff close that door you're going to scratch the paint!” Dean shouts and Steff pulls the door shut reluctantly.  
“Fine can you stop the car, I’m going for a walk.”   
“I don’t.”  
“My life Dean, and I need a fucking walk.”  
“Okay, okay… I’m stopping.” Dean relents as he pulls the car to a slow stop. Steff hops out and shuts the door gently taking off down the highway, limping slightly. “Steff are you okay?”  
“I’m fine, I’ll catch up to you in a while.” Steff tells him with a reassuring smile as she hops over a nearby safety rail disappearing down the grassy hill into the early afternoon light. She walks with a relaxed smile on her face, as if putting on that facade would seduce her turbulent mind into believing her lie. But it wouldn’t, and it couldn’t if Steff wished to continue on the path of truth. She had stopped lying to herself a long time ago, it was the only way she had managed to escape the deep dark depths of her mind… a rather dangerous place if she said so herself. So she wanders with blank face, unable to convey an emotion she believed to adequately describe her right now. Steff knew she was relieved, but she also knew that her mind was plagued by fear… It was her fault that she felt this way, and there was no way for her to distinguish right from wrong. She believed it was the right decision, but the crack in her soul told her otherwise. Steff wanted to think that Balthazar would just move on with such a clean break, and she hoped that he would but she knew it wouldn’t… her spell would leave a residual mark on him and he would be drawn to her naturally. She would have to always avoid him, guard herself, and make sure to never ever allow him to touch her body ever. Just a single pinky finger would cause the entire spell to unravel, her mind nor body could ever touch him again.   
“I know what you’ve done Love.”   
“Go away Crowley.”  
“You are rather…”  
“I said go away!”  
“But I am merely…”  
“Why is everyone so convinced that they know best? What makes your judgement of my heart any better than mine? It is my heart Crowley, it is mine, and no one can tell me what is right… Only I will ever know not you, not my brothers, not his brothers, not anyone but me.” Steff says to him bitterly, and the demon just chuckles.  
“I came to ask if you were alright, not to make judgements Love.”  
“What? Of course I’m fine.”  
“Not physically I mean soul wise… How are the cracks?”  
“How do you know?”  
“Love my job is basically all about souls, I can tell a broken one from a whole one a mile away… Those cracks don’t seem permanent, but they seem very deep.”  
“How much strain do you think I can put on it?”  
“I wouldn’t say much.. No trips to Purgatory or the land of the dead and you should be fine in a few months, but you must remember that it will take many years for it to repair fully.” Crowley answers as he places a hand to her shoulder in comfort. “Lucifer is looking for you, he’s at your home if you want to see him.”  
“I… tell me do you want to go out for tea?” Steff asks with a fake British accent and the demon scoffs at her with a smile.  
“I’m bloody Scottish ye huddy!”   
“Sorry it all sounds the same to me.” Steff says with a shrug and the demon just shakes his head in disappointment.  
“Rather uncultured of you.”  
“Wanker!”  
“Ye wee lassie!”  
“Twally!”  
“Laddie ye be a real knob.”  
“Alright I’m done with this since we could go at it all night.”   
“But I was having so much fun.” Steff says in a mock whine while Crowley just scowls at her in unamusement. “Oh my dear, dear Crowley keeping making that face and it will get stuck like that.”  
“You are quite an insufferable little lassie.” Crowley mutters as they make their way back up to the highway. He hops the rail and offers her a hand over.  
“Such a gentleman.”  
“Well I do try.”   
“Crowley tell me why do you still hang out with me?”  
“Love that’s a rather strange question. Why wouldn’t I?”  
“Well to be frank I’m rather moody, violent, bitchy, blunt, and morbid also danger and misfortune just seem to shadow me like a hawk.”   
“Steff those are only the bad qualities. I enjoy your company because you are quick witted, funny, a woman of finer tastes much more refined than the demons I am forced to maintain contact with, your smart as well and not just book smart but tactically you are an asset to any battle… Plus your beauty is that of a thousand suns.” Crowley explains with a smile and Steff just cocks her head at him.   
“You are just saying that.” Steff mumbles while staring at the ground.  
“No I am not, I may be a demon but I’m not a liar.”  
“But I…”  
“I have done terrible things as well, but that is not what makes you evil or bad. It is why you did those things. You did those things to save people, and that is what makes you Keshet…You sacrificed your own soul to selflessly save others, Steff that is the very definition of a heroine.”  
“Say you're right. Why do I still feel this way?”  
“Because you refuse to allow yourself to feel any other way… Steff it’s as simple as that, just feel a different way.”  
“You make it sound so simple.”  
“It is, Love just feel a different way!” Crowley bellows at the hesitant angel who just seems to stare straight ahead blankly. “All you truly need to do is feel another way.”  
“Crowley can you leave, I need to think and it’s kinda hard to do when you're yelling in my ear?” Steff inquires and the demon just seems dejected by her proposal.   
“Very well.” Crowley says and disappears in a puff of smoke leaving Steff alone on the side of the road. She continues to walk to along the vacant road, it takes her minutes to reach a nearby gas station. Upon entering the establishment she can feel apprehension, lust, and him… She could feel Balthazar in the bar. Steff knew that he would be compelled to find her, but she didn’t think it would be this powerful. However she knew if her plan was to work she had to avoid this angel at all costs, so she turned right around and left swiftly. She kept walking out of the parking lot and onto the blacktop, Steff needed to put distance between him and her. Shaking her wings out she jumps into the air flapping them powerfully and leaving the rest area behind.   
“Hey you!” His voice rings in her ears and she banks left flying out of his reach. “Hey I’m talking to you!” She hears him say in outrage. How dare she just ignore me? He thinks to himself with indignation. So he flaps after her his wings barely keeping her in sight and then suddenly she is gone altogether… he is about to give up however something tells him to go up. He flies upwards where he finds the angel coasting on the thermals, carrying her perfectly. “Can’t lose me that easily.”   
“Who are you?” Steff asks playing dumb knowing that anything she says may trigger the spell’s undoing. “And what do you want?”  
“I… I’m… Sorry I’m not usually so tongue tied, my brother Michael sent me… he..”  
“Go away.” Steff curses at him surging forward, she should have known Michael would send him… hell Cas was probably in on this too.   
“But I was told to come meet you Keshet, and Michael needed me to deliver a message.”  
“Fine what is it?” Steff asks slowing down just enough for the man to catch up.  
“That all things done can be undone, and life is not always as clear cut as you believe it to be.”  
“Tell Michael to go piss up a rope, and that some things are better left as the way they are now.” Steff growls at the man who nods his head respectfully and flies off to deliver the message. She hated herself right now, she hated how she just acted, she hated the decisions she made, but most of all she hated the blank look in Balthazar’s eyes like he didn’t even know her… then again that’s what she wanted right? As her hesitation sets in she is greeted by a presence that was more than familiar.  
“I know what you did Sweetheart.”  
“Are you here to scold me as well?”  
“No…” Lucifer trails off as he notices his mate’s wings flapping powerfully and her head facing forward. Clear signs that she wanted to be left alone, but he needed to talk to her. “I want to say that I am glad you did it.”  
“Really?”  
“Yes, you are mine and mine alone again… At least now he is no longer in fear of losing his life, when you left I may have said some very threatening things to him.” Lucifer says with a sheepish smile and Steff just chuckles quietly.  
“How bad?”  
“Really bad… Like borderline overkill.”   
“Well then maybe its a good thing I made him forget, but your brothers don’t seem to think so.”  
“Who cares what they think, I most certainly don’t. If you want we could leave them all behind and retreat to Hell where all our other angelic friends have much less prejudice.” Lucifer offers with a smile and Steff finds herself thinking that might be an excellent plan. She wouldn’t be forced to do anymore stupid peace talks that were never going to work. In fact she would be able to work with Sky Ranger again get back into riding.  
“Could we really?”  
“Yes it would be simpler that way, no more fighting with them, no more stupid menial tasks unworthy of anyone’s time just us and the inhabitants of Hell.” Lucifer promises as they drift down to the ground landing near a bar, she spies the Impala in front but hesitates to go in. If she went in now she wouldn’t leave with Lucifer, and Steff would continue to wander through the encroaching night aimlessly. “It would be so much better this way.”   
“What about my brothers?”  
“What about them? I’m not imprisoning you, you can come visit them anytime.” Lucifer assures her with his still silky smooth tone, and she knew this tune very well it was his salesman pitch. It was at that moment that Sam and Dean leave the bar smiling, Dean laughing about some old joke that Steff knew Sam was the butt of. Sam stood there scowling like an old man, it seems that time itself freezes as he catches Steff staring at them wistfully. He looks at her with curiosity wondering if she was still thinking about Balthazar, but he noticed Lucifer standing next to her whispering something in her ear that made her smile falter. Sam starts to make his way over, but Dean pulls on his shirt gesturing to the car.  
“Dean what do you suppose they’re talking about?” Sam asks Dean who looks to where he is gesturing to notice Steff’s dejected look.  
“I’m not sure… Steff!” Dean shouts with his brow furrowed now curious as well. “Steff come on over!”   
“....” Steff just turns away from him and Lucifer wraps his hand around her waist while slipping them a triumphant smile.  
“Hey I’m talking to you!” Dean growls refusing to let that prick just take their sister. “Steffanie Marie Winchester!”   
“Dean let her go.” Cas says as he lands gently next to his bristling boyfriend pulling him to a stop.  
“What? No!”  
“She has made her choice, and if she wishes to live that way let her... “ Cas answers with a small amount of dejection as he watches her disappear down to Hell.  
“Cas what do you mean that way?” Dean asks in mild concern.  
“She has made her decision to abandon Heaven.”  
“Cassie I think you are being a little dramatic, she’s just taking some time off.” Gabriel interjects while appearing next to Sam with a large smile. “She’s coming back.”  
“Fuck her all she ever does is leave after making a mess of things anyways.” Cas grumbled angrily, and to think that was the woman he had spent 27 years protecting. “She can stay there for all that I care.” Cas says as he disappears leaving the others in mild shock.  
“He is really pissed at her.” Dean states and they just nod in agreement.  
“This consort thing is rather upsetting to him, but not all of us think she did the wrong thing up in Heaven… God thinks it was the right decision, but that was based on something other than just love.”  
“Gabe what else was it based on?”  
“Her soul.”  
“Alright you are going to have to explain that a little more to us.” Dean says and Sam nods in agreement.  
“She was tearing it into two with her love for both, and it was tattering fast… a soulless angel is a dangerous creature, more dangerous than a regular one.” Gabriel shudders as he lifts his shirt to reveal a seven inch wide sunburst blast scar on his chest. “This was from the last one, he had no remorse, no anger, no nothing just emptiness… He was purely, wholly, and inconceivable terrifying, Shawn had killed no one but injured many before Michael barely managed to kill him. I had the pleasure of being the distraction.” Gabriel explains and the men stare at it in horror as well as surprise.  
“Can this happen to any angel?”  
“Yes and the process is irreversible, it’s like virginity once it’s gone it’s gone.”   
“...” Neither man could think of anything else to say so they stood there in silence.   
“So Sammy you busy today?” Gabriel asks changing the topic.   
“Uh yeah we’re in the middle of a hunt why?”  
“Well I thought we could go do stuff together but if you're busy it’s cool maybe later.” Gabriel says playfully as he kisses Sam swiftly and then leaves just as quick.   
“Angels…” Dean mutters with a sigh.  
“Angels…” Sam echoes as he turns back to the article talking about the murders.


	6. Perception is key

Hell  
Several weeks later

It had been several weeks since her encounter with Balthazar and she had made the decision to stay in Hell for awhile. She still made sure to keep a close eye on her brothers, but for some reason she still felt like she had made the wrong choice. Maybe running away hadn’t been her best choice, but it was the easiest… Steff didn’t expect to instantly feel better about it, but she wished it would stop plaguing her mind.   
“Steff. Steff are you listening to me?” Sky Ranger her Nightmaric Steed asks pulling her from her mental debate.  
“Oh… uh no what were you saying.” Steff says as she continues to run a brush through his coat, grooming him was always a relaxing thing for her. Something about doing such a meticulous task brought her mind some semblance of ease… it wasn’t much but hey some was better than none.  
“I was asking how Seth and Violet are… Plus my children as well do you think they are all okay in Heaven. I know they can take care of themselves but I worry still.”  
“Oh Seth and Violet are doing great I visited them last week and they are both very happy… Duke and Midnight are good as well. I saw them in the stables up there conversing with Michael’s stallion Ferdinand… I’m surprised seeing as that palomino is as grumpy as they come… You know what I never understood.” Steff tells him and the horse looks up from eating his oats.  
“What?” Sky answers while swallowing the mouthful he had.  
“Why would Heaven and Hell both have wildlife? I mean doesn’t that seem rather odd?”  
“Well I can tell you Hell was made in Lucifer’s image and the only thing he really knew was Heaven so that is why we exist down here, as for Heaven I can’t say I know why God made wildlife up there.” Sky Ranger explains and Steff nods in understanding while running her fingers through his dark mane combing out the knots. She starts to plait his man as he goes back to quietly eating and once she finishes his man she chuckles at it. Steff laughs because now it looks like her horse has dreadlocks.  
“That looks awful.”   
“Hmm… what looks awful?” Sky Ranger asks lazily and that’s when she shows him how ridiculous he looks. “Oh christ, get those out now.”  
“Hold your horses I’m going…” Steff mutters as she starts undoing the braids very slowly and once she’s done his mane looks like it’s been crimped. “Wavy suits you.”  
“Let me see.” Sky says and Steff shows him. “If I didn’t already have a mate, I’d get one now.” He says with a smirk as his mate Starlight comes trotting in.  
“What is so funny you two… Oh my.”  
“Hey Star, like my new hair?” Sky says with fake seduction and Star lets out a whinny of laughter.  
“My god you look stupid.” Starlight snorts as she throws her head up with laughter. “Steff was that your doing?”  
“Hey I’ll have you know that if I wasn’t in love with you I would have all the mares on my tail right now.” Sky neighs in mock hurt and Starlight rolls her eyes.  
“Sure you would… So Steff how much longer do you plan to stay?”  
“Umm I’m not really sure… Why?” Steff asks knowing that Starlight had a great many negative opinions about her way of handling things, and had no problem making herself heard.  
“Well doesn’t it feel rather selfish of you to stay here while the rest of the world burns, and besides it is your fault your soul is cracking so why should others have to live with the consequences of your actions.”   
“Star!” Sky neighs sharply he knew she was blunt, but christ he didn’t need her to badger his rider. Steff felt bad enough as is and Sky didn’t want her to be pushed over the edge. He looked to his rider softly, and noticed the way her hands started to shake. “What makes you think it’s okay to say that kind of stuff to my rider? I don’t yell at yours so leave mine alone!”  
“Oh don’t be such a pushover Sky you are thinking the same thing.”  
“I may be Star, but at least I’m not an ass about it.” Sky huffs as he stares his mate down and slowly he sees her back down then turn around to leave the barn. After she left Sky says in an apologetic tone, “I’m sorry, she’s just… well she’s just obtuse sometimes.”  
“It’s alright Sky, I’m heading up to the house. See you later.” Steff replies with a small smile as she leaves her steed who then trots out of the barn and into the pasture to join his mate. However Steff doesn’t go to house where she knows Lucifer is reading over contracts and meeting with a few of his demons such as Crowley and Xaphan who wasn’t a demon rather an angel of hell fire. She instead turns towards the path leading away from house and into the wilder section of Hell where few angels or demons dared to live… well except for Pytho and Pyro two demonic brothers whom she had saved from certain death and in turn saved her from death. 

Pyro and Pytho’s Home

It’s not a far walk for Steff, but it is rather tedious since she is used to flying everywhere. And you may ask why isn’t she flying? Well when angels shed it’s a real pain in the ass, for several weeks of the year angels are rendered flightless by their wings shedding old feathers and replacing them with new ones. So Steff was trudging along the path scratching at the itchy feathers and attempting not to just set them all on fire to get rid of them. She had seen an angel’s wings without feathers and it was frightening like a person without skin. So as she continues pulling out clumps of feathers she notices she is leaving a white trail behind her and uses her powers to burn the feathers into ash. Then forces a breeze to wash them away into the evening air.   
“Hey if it isn’t our old nemesis Steff.” Pyro says sarcastically as he and his hellhound Faith appear in front of her. “I see you came to finally admit defeat.”  
“What in the hell are you talking about?” Steff asks as she looks at him in confusion, last she checked they were friends.  
“He means at the whole saving each other thing… Pyro here seems to believe you only wish to one up him in the saving game.” Pytho comments as he strokes his Hellhound Adagio gently causing the hound to flap it’s tail happily in the time signature he was named after.   
“I see… so if we’re nemesis's should we duel at dawn to the death?” Steff asks as she watches the demon mull it over in his head while whispering to his stark white hound with a splash of red on her right hip in the design of a rose bloom. Faith clearly shakes her head in no, but Pyro just scoffs.  
“I could take her easily.” Pyro boasts and Steff just rolls her eyes while flicking her wrist. She flings the demon into a pile of leaves Pytho had been raking. Faith snickers, Pytho sighs, and Adagio looks bored while Pyro digs his way out. “Or maybe not.”  
“Pyro one day that mouth of yours is going to get you killed.” Steff warns and the demon just glares at her.  
“The same could be said for you Keshet.” A mysteriously British voice says from behind her. Turning around quickly with blade drawn she encircles the stranger in a wall of bright white flames blinding him. She calls forth tendrils which latch onto the obtrusive angel’s wings tightly, but without burning them.   
“Who are you and what do you want?” Steff inquires however when she finally catches his eyes. She knows who it is… it is the man that Michael continued to plague her dreams with or maybe that was just her subconscious guilt. Though her bets were on Michael, the angel always had a way of getting under her skin.   
“My name is Balthazar, we met at the bar remember.” Balthazar says with fear in his voice as he watched the angel slowly lower her blade, but the fire stays raised however the tendrils retreat from his wings... and he didn't know why, but his pants were starting to tighten uncomfortably.   
“Speak quickly, angels who linger too long in this realm often find themselves leaving without a body part.” Steff threatens and the demons know she is lying. At the end of the war Lucifer had put a strict rule concerning angels who visited the realm of Hell: they were not harmed unless someone was directly attacked and even then it was only to knock them unconscious.   
“Michael wishes to convey another message.”   
“I do not wish to hear it, go.”   
“I’m obligated to tell you…”   
“I Do Not Wish To Hear It!” Steff shouts cutting him off and her powers knock him back. “Go!”  
“But..”  
“LEAVE!” She shouts at him using her powers to literally throw him out of Hell. “Just leave me alone.” Steff mumbles once she is sure he is gone.  
“Steff are you alright?” Pytho asks but he knows she isn’t. He was in love before he became a demon… in fact he sold his soul for love, but it didn’t work out, apparently being a world class musician wasn’t enough for the woman he loved.   
“It’s nothing, just something my heart refuses to accept.”   
“The heart is a powerful thing isn’t it? A muscle capable of both giving us life and crushing it.”  
“If you have a point make it, I’m not up for some long ass metaphor about love.”   
“What my dear brother is trying to say is that love is only what we perceive it to be.” Pyro says quickly helping to assist his long winded brother. “Perception is the key.”  
“Very similar to changing how you feel.” Steff mumbles and the demons nod in agreement.   
“So how do you perceive his love?”  
“It’s a hindrance and it always has been.”  
“But.”  
“But I don’t want to live without it and I… I can’t deal with this anymore.” Steff mutters as she turns away from them and starts to walk off. “Tell them I give up… I have finally admitted defeat.”  
“Wait tell who?” Pyro asks feeling as though he missed some key detail.   
“Is that metaphorical?” Pytho shouts after her and she shrugs nonchalantly.   
“It’s whatever you want it to be… it’s all about perception remember?” Steff shouts back just as quickly with a sarcastic tone, leaving the demons in a state of confusion as she disappears from sight.   
“Should we tell somebody?” Pyro asks his brother as they watch the sun set slowly.  
“No… I think she’s going to be fine.” Pytho tells him with an uneasy smile as he goes back to raking the leaves and the hounds begin to wrestle playfully. Pyro however has a nagging feeling that it wasn’t going to be, but hey if his brother said it was alright then he would go with it.


	7. It's begun

Some grassy knoll

“I hate this! I hate you! I hate my life! I hate everything, literally everything!” Steff shouts to the heavens knowing that no one could hear her.   
“Well if you hate everything so much why don’t you die?”  
“Fuck off, I’m not in the mood for your crappy attempts at banter.” Steff growls as she turns around to face the person talking to her, but when she does nothing is there. “What?”  
“Keshet for being so smart you are awfully stupid.” The voice badgers again as she spins around quickly looking for it’s source. “Tell me something for someone who is so concerned with saving people can you save yourself?”  
“Who are you?”  
“I am a person who you created, killed, abandoned, battered, and destroyed till I am nothing more than what I am today.” The voice mutters as it takes the shape of a twisted version of Steff herself. Where Steff was light this Steff was dark, and not just dark but pitch black.   
“So that would be…” Steff trails off as she stares at the mirror reflection of herself, the only real difference were her eyes and the feelings that seemed to radiate off of her. It’s eyes seemed to be nothing more than pools of inky blackness of despair. The feeling surrounding it was fear, anger, and mostly hate.  
“I’m you… well sorta you, but… well how should I say this… perhaps an eviler you. One who desires nothing more than to watch the world burn with a smile on her face.” It says with a sinister smirk that sends chills down Steff’s spine. “Scary aren’t I.”  
“I will give you that, but what is your purpose?” Steff asks as she circles other her… god that felt weird in her mind. “Are you here to kill me or what? Because if you are there is a real long line so you might have to wait.”   
“Still a smartass even now… You do realize that I am a the rendition of your, well our cracking soul. I am the darkness that has settled in your soul.” It declares to Steff and she just stares at it in confusion.  
“That means what exactly?”  
“It means this.” It smirks as Steff is knocked back by her own powers smashing into a nearby rock with a loud oomph.   
“Ouch…” Steff mumbles while standing up shakily and shaking her head out while her grace kicks him. “You want a fight you’ll get one.”  
“Finally a little retribution.” It says with rolled eyes as they both draw identical blades and run at each other. Steff slashes right but it dodges effortlessly coming back with an uppercut catching Steff off guard. “Hurts doesn’t it?”  
“Fuck off.” Steff growls as she kicks the thing square in the stomach watching it drop with a smirk. “Hurts doesn’t it.”   
“Ha, think you're funny don’t you? Well we’ll see who's laughing when I kill them.” It threatens while running at her full force and Steff raises her hand halting the creature mid step then flinging her across the field into a large tree.   
“Kill who? Yourself because that’s the only thing that’s dying tonight.”   
“You still don’t get it do you… Kill me and you kill yourself, without me you’ll fall into rampancy very quickly, and your so called family will be forced to put you down like a rabid dog.” It gloats while Steff punches it in the face a few more times. “Go ahead, kill me if you think you can fight it.”  
“Shut up.”  
“Oh so you do feel it, you feel how your blood boils around the others… Or the images of eviscerating them in our dreams.. when your precious Michael isn’t watching.”  
“I said be quiet!”  
“Tell me what do you think their insides feel like?” It asks her with a twisted smile sending Steff’s mind reeling and that is when the world goes black.

Hours later  
Same Grassy Knoll

“Love are you alright?” Crowley’s soothing voice asks as it drags her from the darkness in her mind.  
“What… What happened?”  
“An Alp, nasty little buggers who..”  
“I know what an Alp is… I want to know how this happened in the first place.”   
“Not sure just found you with the wanker on your chest and guessing by the screams I’m guessing he was doing his job well.”   
“Screaming… I was screaming?” Steff mumbles as she stands up dusting herself off and stares at the black cat body lying a few feet away unmoving. “I’m assuming this was the one.”  
“Yes, but what are you…”  
“Wake.” Steff commands and the creature’s eyes instantly open to find the same darkness she stared into in her dream. “Tell me was what you said true.”  
“I… I… I have a family.”  
“I don’t care, I will smite you where you stand if you don’t answer me.” Steff threatens uncaringly, and Crowley raises an eyebrow at her. He had never seen her so cold unless possessed or someone threatened her family. She notices Crowley's look, and ignores it, she had killed for much less.  
“It is, I can only show you the truth… The darkness in your own heart and you have the darkest heart I have seen in a long time that is the reason I found you, I was drawn to it. I only feed off what is there and create scenarios based off of that. Can I go now?” It explains and Steff just growls while stabbing it straight through the heart. The look of fear and betrayal causes as smirk to tug at Steff’s lips, but when her mind realizes what she just did wipes the smile off turning it into a look of horror.  
“Steff?” Crowley asks hesitantly as he watches the woman stare at the blood on her hands in horror.   
“I.. I.. I enjoyed it.” Steff stutters while meeting Crowley’s worried gaze. “Get away… Get back!” Steff commands while setting a wall between him and her; she didn’t want to hurt him… she didn’t want to hurt anyone, but… but herself. She deserved to hurt, but others did not. “Leave me… Leave now!”   
“Steff it’s alright…”  
“Leave!” Steff screams sending Crowley to his knees in pain and she staggers back, then turning to run away from him and the creature she murdered. “Run I have to run… save them from myself.” She mumbles while tearing through the landscape and she can feel the woods tearing at her clothes, arms, and face but she doesn’t care. “Run.” Was the only thought that made sense right now and she ran, she ran till she couldn’t breathe anymore… forced to her knees as the world was black around the edges from lack of oxygen. As she laid panting on the ground she notices the wild hounds gathering around her. They smelled the blood on her hands and her fear soaked stench which drew them in like moths to a flame. So she watched as a pack of them about ten surround her in a tight circle with low growls. With a smirk she draws her blade taking no time slitting the closest one’s throat. The blood that coats her blade and arms only seems to spur the madness inside of her on as she moves to the next with a perverted smile on her face. It takes merely minutes before she is soaked in the blood of the hounds and her pure white wings colored a dark crimson that soaked the very ground she stood on. From there she grips one of the dead hound's throat, holding it high in the air, and then cutting a large slash in it’s stomach. She watches with satisfaction as the beast’s guts fall onto the ground covering the already saturated ground in even more blood. Steff does similar things to the other corpses, and once she is done even the grass several feet away is stained the dark red. At this point Steff laughs… she laughs at the creatures feeble attempts to kill her.. she laughs like a madman and that is when she hears the sound of beating wings coming to a halt beside her.  
“Sweetheart?” Lucifer asks as he lands next to his laughing mate who was soaked in blood as was the area she was standing in. “Sweetheart are you alright?”  
“I’m grand Lucifer… Much grander than I have been in ages.” Steff whispers as the reality of her handiwork sinks in when she sees the fear on her mate’s face. A thing that wasn’t supposed to be there she thinks to herself and moves to kiss him but he backs away.   
“Sweetheart you reek… let’s get you cleaned up first.” Lucifer says gently while offering her a hand and she takes it slowly.

The House

Steff and Lucifer appear in the master bedroom’s bathroom where he peels the clothing off of her. He turns on the warm spray and gently nudges her into it as he burns her filthy garments.   
“We can get you new ones.” Lucifer assures his mate who turns away while nodding slowly.   
“It… Lucifer it…” Steff trails off as though admitting it out loud would make it any worse than it already was... She had just disemboweled an entire pack of hell hounds, and practically bathed in the blood with a sadistic smile on her lips.  
“It what Sweetheart?”  
“I liked it… I couldn’t stop, and it terrifies me. What if my brothers are by me when that happens? Or one of the others… I’m going to hurt someone.” Steff whispers and she feels Lucifer’s gentle hand on her shoulder.  
“Steff it will be okay… we’ll figure this out.” He assures her and grabs the bottle of shampoo where he starts to work her wings into a grimy pink lather. After working the blood and dirt out he rinses them clean; he notices the large amount of feathers that fall from her wings much more than shedding usually caused. “Sweetheart have you been eating?” Lucifer asks with worry as she spins around to face him while avoiding his stare. “You need to eat.”  
“I’m not hungry Luci…”  
“I know but you need to.”  
“No you don’t understand. I can’t feel it anymore… I can’t feel anything anymore.” Steff admits and Lucifer stares into her eyes looking for any sign of deceit.   
“We’re going to med wing in the morning… or Father… or someone, someone will know how to fix you.”  
“But what if I can’t be… what if I’m just a bomb waiting to explode. I don’t want that Lucifer, I don’t want to hurt anyone.”  
“You won’t Sweetheart. You won’t.” Lucifer assures her as he pulls her from the water as the last of the soap falls from her body. Wrapping her in a towel he leads her to their room where he dresses her in one of his t-shirts and a pair of his boxers. “We’ll fix this Steff… I won’t lose you.”   
“I’m scared you won’t have a choice…” Steff mumbles into his arms as he pulls her close to him on the bed.   
“There’s always a choice.” Lucifer whispers as he kisses the top of her head and wraps his wings around her while sending soothing waves through the bond to quell her nearly overwhelming fear. He waits for her to fall into sleep before he allows it to claim him itself.


	8. Sacrifices

4:35 am

Lucifer awakes to the sound of Steff screaming and flapping her wings in quick panicked motions across the room.   
“Stop! Please I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!” Steff screams frantically and Lucifer rushes to her side.   
“Steff it’s not real! Sweetheart it’s just a dream!” Lucifer tells her while shaking her gently and she slowly stops screaming but the tears continue flowing.   
“Lucifer.. he was dead… and I… I did it… it was my fault.” Steff whispers in a fearful tone and Lucifer quiets her gently.   
“It’s okay no one’s dead, it was just a dream. A horribly, terrifying one but a dream, nothing more.” He whispers into the top of her head while she cries on his shoulder.  
“I didn’t want to… I didn’t.”   
“I know Sweetheart, I know.”   
“He was in so much pain… I could feel him begging me to stop, but I didn’t… I couldn’t.. it felt so good, I didn’t want to.”   
“Who Sweetheart?”  
“Balthazar.” Steff sobs and Lucifer just holds her tightly.  
“Come on let’s go to Heaven, fuck waiting someone should be there now.” Lucifer tells her as he picks her up bridal style flying both of them to Heaven’s medical division. 

Med Wing

“Sastiel I’m telling you that wing isn’t going to heal properly if you keep crashing into things.” Advachiel the head medical angel warns as he finishes patching up the young angel who nods quickly then darts out of the room. Advachiel wore a doctor coat over his two broad oceanic colored wings, he was around five foot eleven with black hair and blue eyes the color of his wings. With a bored sigh he turns to his list of paperwork that never seemed to end and right as he is about to take stock an angel he hadn’t seen in centuries appears with the Keshet in his arms. “Lucifer?”  
“Advachiel help her.” Lucifer demands as he places his mate down on a nearby bed.   
“What happened?” Advachiel asks as he rushes to the bed to see the woman lying there shivering.   
“Her soul… Father said something about splintering and sickness.. Advachiel, I don’t know just help her.” Lucifer says in panic and the angel nods quickly while gesturing for Lucifer to hold her.  
“She’s going to scream.”   
“Just hurry.” Lucifer states and without any hesitance Advachiel shoves his hand deep inside her feeling for her soul only to be flung back against the wall. He hears a loud crunch and Advachiel knows his wings are broke. “Advachiel!”   
“I’m fine nothing I can’t handle… we need something to suppress her powers, I hadn’t anticipated such a harsh reaction.” Advachiel explains as he stands up and rushes to the shelves searching for something that would contain her, but nothing there would her powers were much too strong.  
“Advachiel I can do it.” A voice that every angel knew… Father.  
“Very well do it now.” He orders and God casts a thin blanket of gold over Steff while gesturing for him to search.   
“Quickly I can not contain her long.” God warns the angel and Advachiel dives in while Lucifer stands by her side rubbing her forehead soothingly. It takes merely minutes before Advachiel feels the rot inside of her soul a form of gangrene that ate an angel whole and with no remorse.   
“She’s dying.” Advachiel states solemnly and Lucifer looks at him with horror filled eyes.  
“No… she can’t...she can’t.” Lucifer mutters in distress as he punches a nearby wall.   
“I’m sorry, but she is… I.. I can’t help her now, the rot has progressed too far.” Advachiel says apologetically and this is when Lucifer finally sinks to his knees in defeat. “I might be able to stave off the infection, but eventually her soul will be consumed.”  
“How long?” God asks as Lucifer holds his head in his hands while he shakes on the floor.  
“At the rate of progression I… I give her a month at most.”  
“A month.” Lucifer croaks as the first tears begin to drip down his face.  
“I’m sorry there isn’t anything I can do.” Advachiel whispers as he backs away from the others and turns to leave the wing shedding his lab coat in defeat. There were days when being a doctor was fantastic and then there was today, a day where he had to tell someone there mate was dying and there was nothing he could do about it. He could feel his wings healing themselves like that soul never would and she would be forced into Purgatory a life cut tragically short by angelic standards. 

Lucifer

“Can’t you fix her… make a new soul… or something.” Lucifer begs as he watches his father rest beside him as Steff lies completely still on the hospital bed.   
“I… I… yes I could, but it won’t be her. It would be her body Lucifer and that is all.”   
“Please.”  
“Lucifer…”  
“Where is she?” They hear a voice ask and they see Cas rush in followed by Gabriel, Michael, and their two kids.  
“Mom..” Violet croaks with tears thick in her throat as she and Seth see her lie unmoving on the bed.   
“Steff…” Michael whispers as notices the usually vibrant angel lying so still and then his thoughts turn to his brother who is leaning against a wall. “Lucifer is she…” He starts but is cut off by the slow shake of his head.  
“Not again.” Cas says as he stares down his father. “Save her.”   
“Castiel I can’t.”  
“You can and I can think of no reason why you wouldn’t.”  
“Grandpa please if you can please save our mother.” Seth pleads and God just stares at the ground.   
“This is the one disease I cannot cure without killing the entire soul… I wish I could, but I simply cannot.”   
“Steffanie!” Balthazar shouts as he suddenly runs into the room. “You stupid, stupid woman!” He curses as he places his hand on her body effectively breaking the remnants of the spell.   
“How long have you known?” Lucifer states having felt the angel enter Hell many times in the last few weeks. He didn’t have the heart to stop him now, knowing she would be dead soon anyways.  
“I have always known… well at least part of me did… the memories were slow at first and she didn’t do a very good job of hiding her spell work. Plus she forgot to take the note she wrote to me a long time ago, back when she was still a teenager. “  
“Stealth was never her strong point… Violet remember our surprise party.”  
“Yes, she was so excited about having decorated the cake perfectly she forgot to put it away, and she forgot to hand out invites… So it was only her and Papa who jumped out when Uncle Cas brought us back.” Violet remarks with a chuckle remembering the downtrodden look their mother's face on her face that day when she realized they already knew.   
“And then I tackled her because I thought she was trying to kill you two.” Cas adds and the others smirk at him.   
“She always did know how to turn a party into a fight.” Balthazar mutters as a few of his tears drip from his eyes. “Take mine.”  
“What?” They all say in surprise.  
“Take my soul and heal her… Don’t look at me like that, I have seen you do it before.”  
“Uncle Balthazar no.” Seth mumbles he wanted his mother back but not at the cost of another angel… and she wouldn’t want that either.  
“Seth, I have lived many lifetimes, and I don’t need to live any longer…. It is my soul and I willing give it to her.” Balthazar says with sureness.   
“Son is this truly what you want?”  
“It is.”  
“Don’t you fucking… dare.” Steff mumbles while sitting up and leaning her back against the wall.  
“Oh Sweetheart.” Lucifer whispers as he holds her tight in his arms. “Sweetheart I’ll save you… I will.”  
“No Luci… it’s my time to go, and I am ready.”  
“I am not giving up on you!” Michael states very sternly as he stares into her fading eyes.  
“You must… all of you. For the sake of yourselves move on.”  
“No.” Balthazar says and they all turn to face him. “You are going to take my soul and live happily ever after with him.”  
“Balthy you are…”  
“Steff, I love you, and I love you too much to allow you to continue on with the indecision as it eats you alive. Father now.” Balthazar orders and before they can say anything to stop him God snaps his fingers. The angel’s body drops and Steff is covered in a soothing gray hue. She can taste the scotch Balthazar had so frequently drank and the faint smell of the sea that always followed him. Steff watches in horror as her wings regrow and her grace is strengthened only further by the addition of the soul. She can also feel the cracks in her soul mending and becoming whole. Running to his side she kneels beside her fallen consort.   
“No, no, no, no, no…” Steff mutters in horror as she shakes the angel’s lifeless body lying limply on the floor. “Please don’t be…”   
“Keshet this was his wish….”  
“His wish, what do you know of his wishes?” Steff shouts at God turning deadly, her flames enraged and the air around her glowing with power. “You knew nothing of his wishes, his desires, or even what he loved. You think you do but you don’t and now you never will because he is gone.”   
“Sweetheart.”  
“No.. Don’t speak, I don’t want to listen to any of you.” Steff screams as she breaks into sobs over Balthazar’s body. Lucifer goes to touch her, but flames quickly consume her and the body.   
“Steff he did it willingly…” Cas starts. However Steff doesn’t listen past that as her focus fades into the background where images of Balthazar flash in her mind. From the first time they truly met to the last time she kissed him passionately, and then the last one that plays is the spell from which this started… One measly little spell that destroyed her consort and her own soul so rapidly it left her mind reeling. All it took was a few sentences sewn together by an ancient power that slept deep inside of her.   
“Steff do not waste the gift he gave you.” Michael’s soft voice whispers as she glances up to see her friend’s eyes carefully schooled to show no emotion. She doesn’t answer him instead she looks around the room to find her children watching her, Cas and Gabriel were gone, and Lucifer stared at Steff with a sad look but his emotions were that of a relieved man. Then she turns back to Balthazar’s body which was no longer there but rather a pile of black ashes.   
“I have to go… I can’t remain here any longer.”  
“Sweetheart we can go together.”  
“No, I will only hurt you more just stay away… stay far far away.” Steff warns as she rises slowly from the ground wiping her tears.  
“Momma what about…”  
“I said stay away!” Steff screams at her daughter who cowers in fear to her brother’s side, and that’s when Steff disappears down to Earth. 

Impala

Steff flies to the one place she is able to think… the home she knew as a child, the classic car with a leather interior that made a car fanatic whimper in pleasure. So she sinks into the welcoming black leather. The car was empty and the smell of gun oil was faint even for the car. She had guessed that the car had been in park for several days and maybe even a week at most. It was then that she finally releases her sobs and begins to mourn Balthazar freely. Steff cries for the unfairness of this life, and she cries in anger at herself for not stopping him sooner. As her sobs rack her body she can hear footsteps coming closer, and out of instinct she encircles the car in fire hoping to scare off whatever was coming. So with that in place she curls tightly into herself.   
“Angel, open the door.” Dean’s voice comes from outside the door while tapping gently, he had narrowly avoided being burned by the sudden flames.   
“Stay away, I’ll hurt you.”  
“No you won’t, now come on.”  
“Dean I killed him.” Steff tells her brother, but he still opens the door. “He’s gone and I… it’s my fault.”  
“Angel who is dead?” Dean prods and Steff turns to face him with tearful eyes.   
“Balthazar.”  
“Wait, like for real?” Dean asks with a concerned nod and Steff curls into her brother’s side.   
“It’s my fault Dean it’s all my fault.”  
“Well what did you do?”   
“Did Cas or someone explain what happened to my soul?”  
“Yes, you were dying or something like that.”  
“He gave me his Dean… He didn’t even give me a choice… And now he’s gone forever.” Steff stutters while he rubs her feathers in a soothing manner. “He saved me.”  
“Steff isn’t that a good thing?” Dean asks and Steff just curls into him closer.   
“No Dean it isn’t, I am the one to give not him… That is my job Dean.. Mine!” Steff argues to him as she pulls back.   
“Well then maybe this is a sick day... everyone has a sick day.”  
“Fuck off.”  
“Steff I am not making fun of you.”  
“Dean he didn’t deserve to die.”  
“No maybe not, but what he did was not a bad thing it is a blessing… Someone needs to save you eventually, especially from yourself.”  
“A savior needs not a savior for she is her own.”  
“Isn’t that a fancy little saying.” Cas slurs out as he appears in the front seat with his trench coat barely hanging onto his body. “Funny how you're usually the bitch who needs to be saved.”  
“Cas, I believe you have had enough.” Dean tells him as Steff pulls away from him. “Give me the bottle.”  
“Fuck off Dean… I will drink as much as I want… to.” Cas hiccups as he grabs Dean by the collar and smashes their lips together. “I’m going to fuck you into that seat tonight.”  
“Castiel I said enough.” Dean spits as he hears Steff’s door open up and then shut quickly while trying to untangle from his lover’s tight grip. “Hey wait we aren’t done yet.”  
“We are plenty done… Cherish him Dean, cherish him like I should have cherished mine.”  
“Steff wait! Cas will you let go!”   
“Shut up Kitten you talk too much.” Cas mutters as he kisses him roughly, keeping his attention.


	9. A few stages of grief

Steff

She was walking again, walking to some unknown place that might be able to take her pain and turn it into something else. Steff hoped it would be happiness but pain rarely ever turned into that. Though on the edges of her mind she could feel his consciousness pulling at hers, but Steff didn’t feel like talking to Lucifer… to be honest she didn’t feel like talking like anyone right now. She really didn’t want to talk to herself but that was an inevitable… so she walks and waits for the guilt that is sure to consume her mind soon.   
“Tell me what plagues your mind little one?”   
“I don’t care who the fuck you are just leave.”  
“Fine, but tell me do you believe in miracles?”  
“No in fact I despise them now fuck off.” Steff growls bitterly at the elderly man standing before her with look of anguish.  
“Oh I was hoping you would say you did but no matter.”   
“Hey what? Get your hands off of me!” Steff shouts as she feels the man place two hands on her wings draining her power rapidly. “Fuck… who?”  
“Shh come with me sweet angel, and I shall show you true pain.” He whispers in her ear and that’s when her mind blacks out.

Dean and Cas

“Cas you… drunk you is..”  
“Stop talking so loud Dean.” Cas grumbles as he untangles himself from Dean’s arms and Dean just smirks.  
“You really shouldn’t drink so much, I hear it’s bad for you.”  
“Dean stop talking before I make you stop.”   
“Some…”  
“I said shh.” Cas snaps and Dean goes quiet obediently. “Thanks.”   
“No problem, now let’s go find my sister before she kills herself over Balthazar.” Dean prods and Cas nods in an agreement.   
“You think she’s still upset?”  
“Yeah I would think so, aren’t you?”  
“No… I mean… well.. Since he’s already been to Purgatory his soul will now permanently reside in Heaven so not really while it is a pain in my ass since I have to take care of his charges… it’s not really that bad.” Cas explains and Dean’s jaw drops.  
“Does Steff know he’s in Heaven?”  
“Uhh.”  
“Cas she wouldn’t feel have as bad if she knew that little nugget of information...Dammit Cas.”   
“We should find her now shouldn’t we?”  
“Yes.” Dean growls as he dresses quickly and flings open the Impala door followed by Cas. 

Steff

“What are… you?” Steff groans as the room stops spinning enough for her to open her eyes only to have it revealed to a scene she refused to relive again. It was her tied to a bed while Alistair morphed into Dean cut into her skin leaving ragged gashes that bled a lot accompanied by a ton of pain.   
‘Oh Angel…’  
“You're not real Ali, you know how I know that?”  
‘No, please enlighten me.’  
“I watched Lucifer kill you.” Steff states triumphantly but even as they talked he sliced a deep gash down her middle and caused her to bite her lip to hold in the screams.   
‘Now now don’t be like that… come on let me hear you.’  
“Go fuck yourself.”  
‘Still fighting, I admire that, I really do but fighting will get you no where here.’  
“Well I’m trying to keep up my reputation.” Steff spits as the blood drips from her mouth and onto the cold stone below. “So.”  
‘So what? Are you not aware of the fact that you are captured, being tortured, and probably going to die?’ The Alistair/Dean look a like says in frustration.   
“Eh my sense of self-preservation is terrible.” Steff says with a smirk and it just steps back in anger. “Oh does this not work if I’m not scared?”  
“You are really starting to piss me off, be scared.” The creature growls while shifting into the shape of an angry child. “This isn’t fair!”  
“Life never is.” Steff says and she feels herself flung into a large stone wall. Maybe not her best choice she thinks to herself, but hey like she said before she was Winchester and they’re awful at making choices. Especially those that pertain to their own life. So she’ll continue to mock this creature as it shifts desperately into different forms in an attempt to find one that frightens her. It isn’t until it shifts into the shape of Bartholomew that Steff finally raises her eyebrows.  
“Oh so this is the angel you fear, but why?” The creature asks as it shifts back into the form of a defiant young boy with black hair and red eyes. “What are you?”  
“I am a person. What are you?” Steff asks as she burns through the ropes binding her to the bloody rock.  
“Well I’m a… I’m not sure what I am…”  
“How old are you?” Steff asks wondering how old this shifter could possibly be.  
“I’m seven. How old are you?” The boy asks as he watches with no fear as his prisoner gets ups slowly and spreading her wings out. “Those are pretty, they changed while you were asleep.”  
“Thanks and don’t you know it’s rude to ask a lady her age, even a lady with wings.” Steff says with a humorous tone causing the shifter to smile. She knew that by the way he changed he was young, probably about seven. Though she didn’t know why he caught her in the first place.  
“Sorry…” He whispers and that is when she watches his eyes change to a shade of blue that was similar to her own, and his hair the exact color of her own then much to her surprise he sprouted a pair of fluffy little black wings on his back.  
“Those are handsome wings you have there little mister.” Steff tells him and the boy smiles gleefully. “Where’s your parents?”  
“My Dad was killed by a hunter, and my momma… well she was a hunter, killed keeping me from my dad.” The boy remarks quietly and Steff nods slowly watching as the boy’s smile fades into a deep frown.   
“How long has she been gone?”  
“Three years.” He whispers with tears fat in his eyes while reaching out to her, and instantly Steff’s motherly instincts kick in. She picks him up and then starts to rocks him gently while stroking his fluffy little wings soothingly.   
“I’m sorry buddy… hey what’s your name little guy?” She asks quietly while making soothing circles on his back. He starts to hiccup in between sobs and Steff waits patiently while continuing to rock him. “Shh… it’s alright, I gotcha…. No ones going to hurt you.”  
“Jack.” He whimpers into her shoulder while she tries to soothe him.  
“Well Jack would you like to go to a place with me?” Steff asks and she can’t help, but smirk to herself at the name of the young boy.  
“What kinda place?” Jack says while wiping the tears from his big blue eyes.   
“A place where you won’t be alone at the very least.”   
“But can’t I stay with you… Momma.” Jack adds at the end hesitantly, and that is when Steff just sighs heavily. “I’ll be good, and I won’t hurt nobody. I promise.” He swears with so much hope in his eyes that Steff couldn’t dare crush.   
“Fine, but I’m not sure how long you can stay.” Steff warns him and Jack just happily purrs into her shoulder. “Where are we?”  
“I’m not sure this was my home for the last few weeks… I think we’re in Texas.” Jack tells her and Steff sighs.  
“How did you manage to drag my body all the way here?”   
“We gain the strength of those we shift into. I just picked a random man you fought a long time ago.” Jack explains and Steff nods curtly while spreading her wings then flying to Bobby’s house.  
Bobby’s House

Bobby had been sitting on his porch talking to Dean on the phone about his sister.   
“Dean I haven’t seen her, but if she shows I’ll give you a ring.” Bobby assures her overprotective brother while hanging up the phone. “Christ that boys like a mother bear.” He mutters while taking another big swig of beer. However before he can finish another thought none other than Steff appears holding something in her arms.  
“Uh… hey Bobby.” Steff says sheepishly while shifting the kid in her grip.   
“Steff?” Bobby asks cautiously and Steff just backs away from him as he approaches her. “Kid stay still.”  
“Stay back Bobby, stay back.” Steff orders and the child on her shoulder makes a sleepy grunt.   
“What are you holding?” Bobby says while still slowly inching his way towards the flighty angel who keeps moving away from him. “Now it’s alright, no one’s going to hurt you… Just talk to me Kid.”  
“I said leave me alone.” Steff growls and that finally wakes up Jack who blinks slowly.  
“Momma who's this?” Jack says sleepily into her shoulder and Steff just rubs his back.  
“Steff what are you doing?” Bobby demands and that is when Steff finally snaps at him causing him to jump back. “Lucifer she’s here!”   
“NO!” Steff shouts as she feels the others appear quickly leaving her no time for escape.  
“Momma what’s happening?” Jack whispers fearfully and Steff just backs away keeping his head pressed to her chest. “Momma I’m scared.”  
“It’s alright Jack… Shh just stay calm… Shh it’ll be fine.” Steff assures him as she keeps backing away from the group of angels.   
“Jack? Who is Jack?” Bobby asks quietly as he watches Steff continue to whisper to the air.   
“Sweetheart look at me…. Steff look.” Lucifer commands and Steff glances up at him quickly before shifting her gaze back to the air. “Steff it’s not real.”  
“What?”   
“Steff there is nothing there.” Bobby interjects and that is when Steff wild’s eyes go wide in fear.  
“Rampancy…. Oh no she was right... “ Steff whispers in terror, the fear of rampancy was one that was very real. If an angel were to go rampant they become a terror to any and everyone.   
“Who was right?” Cas asks while appearing with Dean and Gabriel does the same with Sam.   
“I have to get out of here… I have to go.” Steff tells them and Lucifer lays a hand gently on her shoulder but she jerks away. It isn’t long until she feels her heart rate rising and her breathing becoming erratic causing the others to worry even more. “Don’t.”  
“Sweetheart you aren’t going anywhere, we are going to work on this together… So just breathe.” Lucifer says slowly and Steff just shakes her head.   
“No I’ll hurt you, Cas tell them.” Steff says frantically as her wings hide her from sight.   
“Tell them what? Steff you aren’t going to hurt anyone physically, psychologically maybe but physically no… you're like a giant kitten.” Cas assures his charge who remains hidden behind her large white wings.   
“I am not a kitten.”   
“No you are my Angel.” Dean says gently as he sits down next to her and strokes the white feathers soothingly. “Now open up and talk to us.”  
“Go away, please why do you think I left in the first place… all I ever did was try and protect you from me, I’m dangerous can’t you see that.”   
‘Darling you are experiencing one of my memories that has lodged itself into my soul. Jack was a little boy whom I was too late to save you are not falling into rampancy. Steff you are only as dangerous as you believe yourself to be… Now come on get out of your head and go live your life, I did not sacrifice myself so you could fall into rampancy… Trust me you will be the first to know when you’ve fallen into rampancy.’ Balthazar’s thick British voice says in her mind and she opens her wings slowly hoping to see him in real life but is only met with worried looks of the others. She could hear the low murmuring of the others, but her ears only focused on Balthazar’s words. ‘I will love you for you are my light in a sea of perpetual darkness… You are the Keshet, go and be the savior I know you to be.’  
“But I’ll miss you.” Steff whispers aloud interrupting the men’s conversation.  
‘Then visit me in Heaven… I’ll always be here..’ Balthazar trails off leaving Steff with the smell of sea air in her nostrils and the taste of scotch on her tongue.  
“Wait you're in Heaven?” Steff mutters to herself and that is when her sadness is exchanged for rage. “YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!” They all freeze at the dangerous tone Steff takes as her wings turn blood red and that was the unanimous sign for revenge. “I thought he was obliterated, gone, killed, dissolved!”  
“Sweetheart I think it would be best.”  
“Shut your goddamn trap! All you ever do is talk…. You're like a fucking salesman who won’t take a hint!” Steff shouts at her mate who just stiffens and meets her fiery gaze with a cold one.  
“Oh I’m a fucking salesman alright because if I am then you are the stupidest, most stubborn angel ever!” Lucifer shouts back at her and grabs her shoulders. “I love you, I really do but christ almighty I’m not sure how much more of this self-loathing I can take!”  
“Fuck you! You don’t like it there’s the sky, go fly in it!” Steff yells bitterly at him and that’s when an uneasy silence falls over them. Dean and Sam were quickly herded back by their respective angels, Bobby as well to ensure that if this turned violent then they wouldn’t be hurt.   
“Maybe I will.” Lucifer mutters bitterly spreading his large black wings and taking off into the sky leaving them all in shock. “I hope you have a nice eternity, and stay out of Hell.” And so with that the power couple had dissolved just like another piece of her soul unbeknownst to her.  
“I don’t need you anyways.” Steff growls to herself as she flies in the opposite direction towards the nearest thing she could maul on the Earth seeing as her membership to Hell had just been revoked. “I don’t need anyone, never have and never will.” She whispers as the bond is severed leaving Steff with nothing but emptiness. Nothing but that dreaded silence…. Silence is what she feared because that is when her mind started to talk, and her mind was where the self-loathing originated from. So now she had to deal with the very thing that ended her relationship with Lucifer, but fuck it… she was the Keshet she didn’t need him if he didn’t want her then fuck it and fuck him. She would just… well she didn’t know but she would be fine without him….she had. Oh wait.. no she didn’t have anyone else. But she didn’t need anyone anyways so what did that matter if she had anyone to begin with right? So landing quite gracefully she finds herself amidst a large coven of vampire, maybe twenty of them at least. They all turn very quickly to see her flare her wings proudly and threateningly.  
“What do you want angel?” The head vampire asks as he steps forth.  
“Damn you look like you just came straight out of Dracula it’s the 2000’s I think it’s time for a wardrobe change.” Steff says as the creatures circle around her menacingly.   
“Kill her.”   
“Uh I don’t think so.” Steff taunts with a smirk as she draws her blade and slices through his neck. They all watch as his head slowly rolls on the floor till it hits the wall stopping it’s momentum. Like the calm before the storm they watch it, but once it stops all hell breaks loose. Steff stabs several of them meanwhile a few grab onto her wings which were pulled up tight to her back. She can feel a long gash torn in her top left one. Turning quickly she punches the creature sending it into the wall and smites several more around her. The fight continues like this till Steff manages to kill all but one who is quietly cowering in the corner. A teenage about sixteen a young girl who seemed to want nothing to do with them at all. “I can change you back if you like.”  
“Please. They killed my mom and then took me.” She says and Steff does so quickly. “Thank you so much!”  
“Hey where’s home for you?” Steff asks and the girl stares at her feet.   
“My mom and I were homeless.”   
“Do you have any other family?”   
“I think my grandma might still be alive.”   
“Where does she live?” Steff inquires while offering the young lady her hand which she takes quickly, gripping it tightly, Steff can tell that she doesn't know the address rather just what the house looks like. So Steff flies her there and is surprised to find an elderly woman talking to a man about Dean’s age, presumably her father.   
“Papa?” She whispers and the man turns around slowly, that is when she shouts, “Papa!”  
“Maria!” The man shouts gleefully and that is when the tears start flowing. Steff doesn’t stick around though to see the heartfelt hugs and the tears. She had done her job and that was to save her, she wasn’t needed after that.


	10. Hope is it truly corrupted and decayed?

John Winchester

He was having a wonderful dream about a woman who seemed to know exactly what he wanted, and when he wanted it. She was no Mary, but the closest anyone had come to lately. It was only seconds later when a small whoosh sound that sent him instantly on edge. Drawing his weapon quietly from underneath his pillow, he grips it tightly as the thing steps closer to him. Once the thing is feet away he springs on it managing to sink his blade deep into it’s chest causing it to fall to it’s knees. It is then he notices how it is a woman and her red hair looks strikingly familiar to his daughters.   
“Nice...to… you… too.” Steff mumbles weakly as her body tries to close the fresh wound up but it is rather difficult based on the fact that it is directly in her heart.   
“Steff I’m so sorry, shit!” John says apologetically as he helps her up and then grabs his phone quickly dialing Dean’s number. Dean picks up immediately. “Dean I stabbed your sister in the heart what should I do?”  
“Well you should start by not doing that.” Dean says with a groggy groan as bed springs can be heard in the back ground. “Where are you?”  
“Small motel by a bar in St. Louis, Illinois. Why?”  
“Can she breathe or has she passed out by now?”  
“Um breathing but unconscious.” John answers and not minutes later Dean shows up with a man he met a few years ago named Castiel. The angel wastes no time in kneeling next to Steff who is breathing slowly, he places a hand over the wound healing it rapidly.   
“What was she doing here?” Dean asks with a yawn as he leans down to pick up his sister, but John stops him.   
“I got her.” John tells him and Dean just blinks at him slowly in surprise. “She came to me so she must need something.”  
“You sure you're really ready for what she’ll ask of you John?” Cas asks knowing that whatever Steff had to say was probably not going to be easy to hear.  
“Yeah I’m tired of running from this one, she needs guidance and I’m just the man to give it.” John says with that Winchester brand of confidence that makes Dean roll his eyes.   
“Well when she needs us just call.” Dean mumbles a little hurt that his little girl wasn’t going back with him, but none the less she was free to stay with their father. So it was with a heavy heart Dean takes Cas’ hand and they disappear into the night leaving John with an unconscious Steff. Once gone John slowly picks up his sleeping daughter, and he is surprised that she is so light with her massive wings.   
“Dean...Mm… Where’s my Dad?” Steff murmurs as her eyes flick open slowly only to shut again just as rapidly before she drifts under again. John says nothing as he lies her gently on the bed in the spot he used to lay. Taking careful precautions of her wings he pulls the blankets up around her but he notices a few feathers that seemed to be just hanging on barely and most likely an itchy nuisance. So without another thought he wets his fingers and manages to work out the dried blood gluing them to her body, and then he plucks them free. Holding them in his hands he mulls the broken feathers between his fingers, admiring the residual lightness that seemed to emulate from them even caked in blood. Part of him wanted to know where all this blood managed to come from it seemed every time he met her she was covered in someone’s. The other part told him he didn’t need to know because she was an adult and it was no longer his business to wonder about her life seeing as he had pushed her from his own. With a heavy sigh he goes and sits on the edge of the bed staring down at her.   
“Where is your dad indeed?” John asks as he lays on the other half of the bed as far away from the angel as possible. Falling ever so slowly back into his slumber. 

A solid twelve hours later

Steff awakes with a massive pain in her chest and a throbbing in her head. Pulling her head up off of the unfamiliar pillow she looks around trying to piece together why she came here in the first place. It isn’t until she sees John Winchester sleeping soundly next to her does she remember why she came. It wasn’t the loss of Lucifer that pushed her forth rather the young girl she saved. Steff didn’t know why but part of her wanted that moment. The moment where… well to be honest she didn’t know what to call it, but she knew that she wanted it. She wanted to feel wanted like that man and his daughter felt.  
“I was never meant for those moments.” Steff resigns as she leaves the bed only to wobble and fall into the nearby wall, which in a way was true because she herself always fought the need to know that she was wanted… that she wasn’t just a waste of space… that her life meant something to someone, and she used to have that… but somehow she managed to alienate the one man who would always tell her that she was needed.  
“Steff?” John’s scratchy voice asks as he drags himself up.   
“John… uh… so sorry to bother you, I seem to have miscalculated my landing.”  
“Where were you going?” John asks seeing through her terrible lie.   
“I was simply flying to Bobby’s house.”  
“You made a big miscalculation… It kinda looks like you came here intentionally.”  
“Well we all can’t be as perfect as you.” Steff mumbles while stretching her wings out and walking to the door.   
“Wait!”  
“What?” She asks stopping in her step and turning to face him.   
“You came here for something, Castiel seemed convinced of it. So what was it?”  
“When was Cas here?” Steff asks knowing that of all people who she wanted to see, he was the last person who probably wanted to see her.   
“He was here to heal you from the stab wound inflicted upon you on accident… Sorry about that.” John says apologetically and Steff just nods slowly.  
“That explains the pain… So I think I’m just going to go.”  
“Steff you came here for a reason why don’t you just man up and ask me.”   
“Fine you want to know what I came here to ask?” Steff growls at him while shutting the open door. “I came to ask if you ever truly loved us! Would you even miss us if we died or would you even know?”  
“...” John doesn’t say anything as he watches his little girl stare at him harshly as if searching for the answer in his eyes. “Of course I would know if you guys were gone…. I’m your father.”  
“Would you really though? I have been away from you for much of my life like we’re talking almost two decades without you… I don’t think you would.” Steff says calling him out and that is when he sighs heavily.  
“I know that I haven’t always been there when you needed me and I know I sort of left you to fend for yourself with your brothers, but you gotta believe me when I say this it was for your own good. I couldn’t have given you the life you wanted nor deserved if I took you with me, and your brothers…. well they did a much better job than I ever could… But know this, I have never not loved you and I will never not love you no matter what. Do you remember when we took a trip into your mind?” John says with more passion and caring then she had ever seen the man have at one time.   
“Yeah.”  
“When I saw all of those horrible things that had been done to you I felt my heart breaking because those were all the terrible things I wanted to keep you away from…. this is no life for a little girl, and when your mother died you were cast into it anyways. I tried so hard to keep you out of this because I wanted you to have a life that no Winchester ever seems to have… a normal one. One not filled with anguish and pain, but rather just happiness and normal drama… not angels and demons, wars and chaos, but rather just simple family bullshit like whose house we are spending Christmas at or what to get your cousin Tom for his birthday.”  
“....”  
“Steffanie do you truly have nothing to say to that?”  
“...”  
“So to answer you, yes I would know if you were gone and you would be sorely missed… No matter what you may have told yourself I would miss you.” John says and Steff does something very unexpected by pulling him into a tight hug. He reciprocates because god does it feel nice to finally do that after all of these strained years.   
“He left me.” Steff mumbles dejectedly into John’s shoulder.   
“Who?”  
“Lucifer… said my self-loathing was too much.”  
“To be honest you do seem to have more than me and that’s saying something.” John mutters as he places a kiss on top of her head while releasing her.  
“Well if you’d have lived as many lifetimes as I have then you might too.”  
“Yeah I did a little research on that… I heard it was… well rough to say the least.”  
“It is like having tons of voices speaking at once, but you can ever truly listen to one if that makes sense.” Steff explains to him in the simplest way she could and while standing next to her father she notices blood on his hand. “How’d that happen?”  
“Hmm? Oh this, this was from your wings. I saw some feathers near here stuck so I fixed them for you.”   
“Thanks… I should go.” Steff tells the man who just nods solemnly. “It was nice to see you though.”  
“Yeah as was it you… Feel free to come back sometime…. Wait before you go do you want to help me with my hunt?” John adds at the last minute and watches as her wings prick in interest turning a darker shade of violet. “It’s probably not as hard as you are used to, but I could still use your assistance.”  
“Uh… sure what do you got so far?” Steff asks and from there it turns into her helping her father sort out maps and hiding places then turning next to its victims. She could have solved this case in a matter of seconds with her angelic powers, but taking her time was nice and helping like this gave her a reason to stick around instead of crawling back to Lucifer.... to beg forgiveness, not that she begged often but right now she felt very weak... And as she stared at those maps with John she felt stronger, she felt like a predator, not the prey she'd been lately.  
Several weeks later

“Sam have you seen Steff lately?” Michael asks as he appears in the back seat of the Impala it should have been startling but after Steff doing it for so many years it was expected.  
“Um no actually, Cas asked us the same thing yesterday. Why?” Sam answers as the man bites his lip a clear sign that something was wrong.  
“It’s just that ever since she was barred from Hell and Lucifer’s heart, she seems to have disappeared completely. We have been looking everywhere for her because Father wishes for them to resolve this conflict before someone gets hurt or a country disappears.”   
“Last I saw her was when she was with our Dad, but neither hide nor hair from her since, even Bobby hasn’t seen her… Also what is his deal with blowing up countries?” Dean says and Michael just shrugs.   
“Seeing into his heart is harder than buying a house with bad credit.” Michael tells him while sighing heavily from the back seat. He notices how stiff Dean is in his seat and the amount of uncomfortableness that grows as each moment goes by. “Dean what’s wrong?”  
“Nothing.” Dean replies curtly and Sam notices how his grip tightens around the steering wheel till his knuckles turn white. “Michael the fact of the matter is that we don’t know where she is so can you leave we were in the middle of something.”  
“Uh… yeah sorry. I would have just thought that you of all people would be worried about her, but it seems I was wrong. Perhaps I shall try Heaven again maybe I missed something.” Michael answers respectfully, but with a hint of confusion then disappearing from sight.   
“Dude…”  
“Sammy I don’t want to talk about it.”  
“What’s there to talk about?”  
“Exactly.” Dean growls as he stares straight ahead and Sam shifts his eyes back down to their father’s journal, not the original but rather a copy Sam managed to produce with the help of Steff and her powers.  
Six hours later

After a long time scanning the journal and listening to Dean quietly grumble to himself. Sam had, had enough of this passive aggressive behavior. He didn’t enjoy listening to Dean upset because if Dean was upset then that meant no one was happy…. Even Cas had asked him if he knew what was wrong. Upon driving into the run down, no name town Dean quickly finds a suitable motel for them to stay at. Honestly Sam doesn’t want to stay in this crappy little motel room when he could be with his Gabriel who had been asking him for to come with him for awhile. But he will because Dean was more important than him getting some, or sleeping comfortably in a normal bed… wrapped in the golden wings of his lover. Whom was also wonderfully warm.   
“Sam. Sam… Sam!” Dean shouts dragging Sam from his thoughts and forcing him back into the sad reality that was his right now. Stuck in a shitty motel with his grumpy brother and kinda cold because this jacket was old and worn to the point there were holes in it. He might ask Gabriel if he could make him a new one, or maybe Steff if he saw her soon. “Sam are you even listening to me?”  
“Of course Dean, I always listen to you.” Sam says in a dry tone that throws Dean for a loop.   
“Are you patronizing me?”  
“No, never, Dean I would never do that.” Sam mutters sarcastically while putting down a few bags on his bed.   
“Hey you know what Sam go fuck yourself.”  
“So hostile, tell me would this have anything to do with our missing sister?” Sam asks knowing that it was, but he figured Dean should at least come to that on his own verbally.   
“Sam if you know the answer than don’t ask the question… repetition doesn’t suit you.” Dean sneers while unpacking his bag slowly. “What do you want for dinner?”  
“How insightful you are Dean, but let me ask you this; have you ever considered just calling her? Seriously I don’t know what it is with you two, but calling each other isn’t that big of a deal.”  
“Yeah phones what ever. So what’s for dinner? Chinese, hamburgers, hot dogs, or…” Dean drawls out trying to garner an answer from Sam.   
“I don’t really care about the food Dean, I’m more about the principle behind this conversation.” Sam tells him and Dean just sighs.   
“Sam why don’t you just go for a couple of days.” Dean says and Sam balks at this.   
“You two are more like each other than you realize.”  
“Gabriel.” Dean shouts and within moments the Archangel appears happily.   
“Winchesters what can I do for you tonight?” Gabriel asks while standing next to Sam and rubbing his shoulder with his head affectionately.   
“I think Sam here is overdue for a vacation.” Dean says with a brotherly smile and Gabriel can tell that he is frustrated with Sam… He didn’t care that Sam wanted to help him work things out, rather Gabriel saw that Dean just wanted him gone so out of kindness he would grant it...plus he kinda wanted some alone time with his Sammy.  
“You know what, I believe you are right… Sam let’s go.” Gabriel says quickly while spreading his wings wide and disappearing into the night. Once Sam was gone Dean sits on his bed and waits… he waits and he waits… and you guessed it he waits some more. Not sure what he was waiting for he just felt like waiting. Until around seven a.m. to when the sun starts to rise, leaving the dingy room he stares into the bright morning light that promises of new days and hope.  
“Hope… it’s corrupted and decayed.” Dean mutters to himself quoting the old rock singer Meatloaf. It isn’t but four minutes later that his phone starts to play a familiar jingle looking at the display it reads Dad. “Hello?”  
“Hey Dean… um I was wondering what your opinion on… Fuck… Dean.” Steff’s strained voice come through on the other end as the phone suddenly cuts out.  
“Steff… Steffanie!” Dean shouts into the phone as it cuts off leaving him in silence. “Cas!”   
“Dean what is it?” Cas asks as he appears next to his lover with voice laced with worry.   
“I have to find her…Cas take me to her.” Dean begs and Cas nods while spreading his wings wide as they take off into the early morning.


End file.
